The Missouri Hillbillies
Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:14 pm
*Attempted Humor Alert*
(some are lame but a couple good ones)
The owner of a golf course in the Missouri Ozarks was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of The Ozarks and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
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A group of Missouri Hillbillies went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. " Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry lying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired."A tough call,"nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!
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Regarding the year 2000, a senior at Southern Missouri University was overheard, if the end of the world comes, I hope to be in The Ozarks. Everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world.
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The young Ozark Hillbilly came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young Hillbilly answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
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NEWS FLASH! - Joplin, Missouri----- The Ozarks worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Southern Missouri University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in The Ozarks Mountaineer search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
==================================
A Missouri State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-44. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
(some are lame but a couple good ones)
The owner of a golf course in the Missouri Ozarks was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of The Ozarks and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
==================================
A group of Missouri Hillbillies went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. " Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry lying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired."A tough call,"nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!
==================================
Regarding the year 2000, a senior at Southern Missouri University was overheard, if the end of the world comes, I hope to be in The Ozarks. Everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world.
==================================
The young Ozark Hillbilly came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young Hillbilly answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
==================================
NEWS FLASH! - Joplin, Missouri----- The Ozarks worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Southern Missouri University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in The Ozarks Mountaineer search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
==================================
A Missouri State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-44. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:23 pm
DIE! 
Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:39 pm
In due time. In due time.
Re: The Missouri Hillbillies
Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:47 pm
Originally posted by hightimber
NEWS FLASH! - Joplin, Missouri----- The Ozarks worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Southern Missouri University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in The Ozarks Mountaineer search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
They need 
!
Fri Jun 18, 2004 4:15 pm
Yeah that last one is hilarious. 