how to get out of a speeding ticket
Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:07 pm
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:10 pm
Ahahaha that's pretty good. Would like to see it in action
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:02 pm
yeah, better story than any chance of it actually happening!
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:04 pm
you know what? after watching all the movies and tv shows and video games, my first reaction when a cop goes to pull me over will be to hit the gas and go:P
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:05 pm
Originally posted by :UnclSxyPants:
you know what? after watching all the movies and tv shows and video games, my first reaction when a cop goes to pull me over will be to hit the gas and go:P
BAD IDEA Jeans....LOL
Remember that skit anyone?
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:07 pm
no...enlighten me
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:09 pm
SNL skit a few years ago...very funny
A guys says, "so I said, when am I going to be in Haiti again? I won't wear a condom"...voice over, BAD IDEA Jeans.
A white guy walks on to a b-ball court in Harlem and says to a bunch of tall, athletic, black guys, "sure, I will play doubt of nothing"...BAD IDEA JEANS...
You get the picture...
A guys says, "so I said, when am I going to be in Haiti again? I won't wear a condom"...voice over, BAD IDEA Jeans.
A white guy walks on to a b-ball court in Harlem and says to a bunch of tall, athletic, black guys, "sure, I will play doubt of nothing"...BAD IDEA JEANS...
You get the picture...
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:10 pm
lol, i do indeed
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:34 pm
All you need to get out of a ticket is a pair of breasts and a vagina. Too bad I don't have either.
stfu bitches!
I meant doN'T
stfu bitches!
I meant doN'T
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:35 pm
Originally posted by Heart Collector
Too bad I do have either.
So you mean ya have both!
SICK!
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:38 pm
haha what would we do without typos?
Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:38 pm
you're jeffro's type of wo.....man...
Thu Aug 19, 2004 11:07 am
Ya I got a ticket for doing 103 a few months back
Thu Aug 19, 2004 11:23 am
I dont mind getting a speeding ticket.......I just hate when they give the ticket and tell you to be careful or some other crappy line. Then, in most cases, your response is "thank you".
Thu Aug 19, 2004 11:34 am
Originally posted by jnkcrp
Ya I got a ticket for doing 103 a few months back
103????
Not that I haven't greatly exceeded the speed limit before, but didn't get a ticket.
Do you have a bumber sticker that says "Like my driving?" or "I can't drive 55"?
Geez, how much is your insurance?