absurd inventions
Wed Nov 30, 2005 5:57 pm
Haven't posted in a while but i still lurk now and then, I stumbled into this site while bored at work though you guys might get a kick out of it
http://www.totallyabsurd.com/archive.htm
http://www.totallyabsurd.com/archive.htm
Wed Nov 30, 2005 6:49 pm
wow, what are people thinking? jeez...
Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:03 pm
O man there is some funny stuff there. I had an idea that could make that site if I tried to get a patent for it. A flavored pen. Many people use their mouth to hold a pen, why not make that experience more enjoyable. 
Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:29 pm
I want one of those 12 guage golf clubs. They sound like fun 
Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:41 pm
When I was in college I came up with a million dollar idea, sadly I never did anything with it and it is now readily available.
The idea, and how I came up with it:
Freshmen year and I am living in a dorm about 10 years ago. It is an old holiday inn that U of Akron aquired for a dorm, so each room had their own bathroom(which was nice instead of sharign with 8 people). They gave you free sandpaper for toilet paper, that single ply bullshit.
So, I am taking a morning beer shit, not exactly solid if you know what I mean. I finish up and go to grab some TP and notice there is none. I don't know what do to and seriously gave some thought to just showering it off my ass, but I really didn't feel like standing in a pool of my own shit.
Then I looked on top of the toilet's tank and there is a box of Kleenex Plus(the one with aloe lotion).
Grab a few sheets, wipe and instantly a light shines down on me, chorus music is playing:
TP with Aloe Lotion = no monkey butt. If you do not know what monkey butt is, imagine what amonkey's butt looks like, now imagine when your ass is sore from whiping so much. That's monkey butt for you.
I didn't get a patent, pitch it to a company, I didn't do shit about it. Now you can buy that type of TP anywhere.
Damn it.
My other idea/invention is a wallet with a remote control. If someone steals your wallet, you click the remote and it blows up. I don't think it will be legal, but it sure would be worth blowing that theif's hand or ass off.
The idea, and how I came up with it:
Freshmen year and I am living in a dorm about 10 years ago. It is an old holiday inn that U of Akron aquired for a dorm, so each room had their own bathroom(which was nice instead of sharign with 8 people). They gave you free sandpaper for toilet paper, that single ply bullshit.
So, I am taking a morning beer shit, not exactly solid if you know what I mean. I finish up and go to grab some TP and notice there is none. I don't know what do to and seriously gave some thought to just showering it off my ass, but I really didn't feel like standing in a pool of my own shit.
Then I looked on top of the toilet's tank and there is a box of Kleenex Plus(the one with aloe lotion).
Grab a few sheets, wipe and instantly a light shines down on me, chorus music is playing:
TP with Aloe Lotion = no monkey butt. If you do not know what monkey butt is, imagine what amonkey's butt looks like, now imagine when your ass is sore from whiping so much. That's monkey butt for you.
I didn't get a patent, pitch it to a company, I didn't do shit about it. Now you can buy that type of TP anywhere.
Damn it.
My other idea/invention is a wallet with a remote control. If someone steals your wallet, you click the remote and it blows up. I don't think it will be legal, but it sure would be worth blowing that theif's hand or ass off.
Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:43 pm
I actually have an awesome idea, simple and useful.
Many people need that kick of caffeine in the morning, but not everyone really likes coffee (or tea) all that much. Yeah, there are flavored coffees, even chocolate flavored coffees, but it's still coffee (personally, I enjoy coffee, but that's me). There are one million caffeine flavored cold drinks (which, by the way, taste like shit), but not many hot drink alternatives.
Anyway, I submit, as an alternative: Caffeinated Hot Cocoa!
Regular, yummy Hot Cocoa, but with the same amount of caffeine found in a full cup of coffee.
I'm sure someone has thought of this, but I have yet to see Swiss Miss or Nestle offer that version. You may laugh, but I know for a fact this would go over HUGE on college campuses.
Well, that's my crazy (yet great) idea.
P.S.
BTW, if anyone feels the urge to write back and point out that most cocoa or chocolate contain small amounts of caffeine, don't bother, I know, everyone knows. It's not as much caffeine as coffee, and you know it. You were just going to post this little tidbit to prove how smart you are. Well, don't bother, the jig is up Mr. Smartypants!
Many people need that kick of caffeine in the morning, but not everyone really likes coffee (or tea) all that much. Yeah, there are flavored coffees, even chocolate flavored coffees, but it's still coffee (personally, I enjoy coffee, but that's me). There are one million caffeine flavored cold drinks (which, by the way, taste like shit), but not many hot drink alternatives.
Anyway, I submit, as an alternative: Caffeinated Hot Cocoa!
Regular, yummy Hot Cocoa, but with the same amount of caffeine found in a full cup of coffee.
I'm sure someone has thought of this, but I have yet to see Swiss Miss or Nestle offer that version. You may laugh, but I know for a fact this would go over HUGE on college campuses.
Well, that's my crazy (yet great) idea.
P.S.
BTW, if anyone feels the urge to write back and point out that most cocoa or chocolate contain small amounts of caffeine, don't bother, I know, everyone knows. It's not as much caffeine as coffee, and you know it. You were just going to post this little tidbit to prove how smart you are. Well, don't bother, the jig is up Mr. Smartypants!
Wed Nov 30, 2005 9:00 pm
lmao take the fatherinlaw out for a nice game of golf and he'll never come back...
Wed Nov 30, 2005 9:27 pm
toilet snorkel
Wed Nov 30, 2005 10:00 pm
the gerbil shirt, ROFL!
Wed Nov 30, 2005 10:14 pm
i like the surfing ship, it would bring down the cost of travel, but would still charge 500% more .
Wed Nov 30, 2005 10:48 pm
Originally posted by cavalierlwt
P.S.
BTW, if anyone feels the urge to write back and point out that most cocoa or chocolate contain small amounts of caffeine, don't bother, I know, everyone knows. It's not as much caffeine as coffee, and you know it. You were just going to post this little tidbit to prove how smart you are. Well, don't bother, the jig is up Mr. Smartypants!
You got me..
Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:29 pm
Originally posted by PraiseA||ah
You got me..
That's right, it's called a pre-emptive strike baby. The state of Israel and GWB don't have shit on me!
Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:54 pm
Originally posted by cavalierlwt
I actually have an awesome idea, simple and useful.
Many people need that kick of caffeine in the morning, but not everyone really likes coffee (or tea) all that much.
Forget drinking it - ABSORB it.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/accessories/5a65/
Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:11 am
lol reminds of the MAD magazine inventions, anyone remember the alarm that signals when someone looks in your medicine cabinet one???
Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:16 am
I've seen the soap, pretty funny.
Hot Cocoa would rule though. While everyone stands around drinking coffee, you too can sip away at a delicious beverage and get the same benefit as everyone else. Nice hot cocoa on cold winter day. Keep that coffee mug full and sip while you work, riding the caffeine express the whole way!
Actually there's an easy way to do this: they make caffeine water (it's supposed to taste the same as regular water). Assuming heating it up doesn't hurt the caffeine, just mix some hot caffeine water with some instant hot cocoa!
Hot Cocoa would rule though. While everyone stands around drinking coffee, you too can sip away at a delicious beverage and get the same benefit as everyone else. Nice hot cocoa on cold winter day. Keep that coffee mug full and sip while you work, riding the caffeine express the whole way!
Actually there's an easy way to do this: they make caffeine water (it's supposed to taste the same as regular water). Assuming heating it up doesn't hurt the caffeine, just mix some hot caffeine water with some instant hot cocoa!