Simple advice for getting through life.
Sun Mar 30, 2003 11:21 pm
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill
and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its
full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to
take it too seriously.
7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is
always one individual who perceives a solution and is
willing to take command. Very often, that individual is
crazy.
8. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and
dance.
9. Never lick a steak knife.
10. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
11. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
12. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear
and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings
time.
13. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you
can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
14. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless
of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic
background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.
15. The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
16. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter is
not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention.
It never fails.
17. Your friends love you anyway.
18. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a
lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals
built the Titanic.
19. Never, ever look down the barrel to see if the gun is loaded.
20. The question is always more interesting than the answer.
21. Ideas are only dangerous if you act upon them.
22. There is no spoon.
23. The rule of Law is used as an excuse, never a reason.
24. Civilization exists by forced application of the rule of law.
25. Lawyers and soldiers make the worst politicians.
26. Pessimism is a survival instinct.
27. If invited to a "Wizard of Oz" party, and your straight, don't go, even if you do like the film.
29. Honesty is not always the best policy.
30. Only three things circle, Vultures, Sharks, and investment bankers
and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its
full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to
take it too seriously.
7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is
always one individual who perceives a solution and is
willing to take command. Very often, that individual is
crazy.
8. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and
dance.
9. Never lick a steak knife.
10. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
11. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
12. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear
and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings
time.
13. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you
can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
14. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless
of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic
background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.
15. The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
16. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter is
not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention.
It never fails.
17. Your friends love you anyway.
18. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a
lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals
built the Titanic.
19. Never, ever look down the barrel to see if the gun is loaded.
20. The question is always more interesting than the answer.
21. Ideas are only dangerous if you act upon them.
22. There is no spoon.
23. The rule of Law is used as an excuse, never a reason.
24. Civilization exists by forced application of the rule of law.
25. Lawyers and soldiers make the worst politicians.
26. Pessimism is a survival instinct.
27. If invited to a "Wizard of Oz" party, and your straight, don't go, even if you do like the film.
29. Honesty is not always the best policy.
30. Only three things circle, Vultures, Sharks, and investment bankers
Sun Mar 30, 2003 11:26 pm
That is the best advice, lol. I read it twice!
Mon Mar 31, 2003 12:37 pm
I must say that I violated number 13. Not a pretty site,
" Let me get the door for you"
" Oh why thank you"
" Not a problem, so when is the due date"
"UUMM IM NOT PREGNANT"
"I, uh...., ok then, you have a nice day"
Bet she joined the gymn that afternoon, if not I feel for the waiter at the restaurant she attacked later that day.
" Let me get the door for you"
" Oh why thank you"
" Not a problem, so when is the due date"
"UUMM IM NOT PREGNANT"
"I, uh...., ok then, you have a nice day"
Bet she joined the gymn that afternoon, if not I feel for the waiter at the restaurant she attacked later that day.
Mon Mar 31, 2003 12:41 pm
THAT BEING PREGNANT STUFF WITH THE GIRLS HAS TO BE APPOACHED VERY CAREFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
A MISTAKE COULD BE FATAL!!!!!!!!well stated info
A MISTAKE COULD BE FATAL!!!!!!!!well stated info
Mon Mar 31, 2003 1:44 pm
Yeah... it's better to just stay away from the pregnant issues unless unless she's your wife.
Another tip: don't stare at the baby-to-be (or in some cases, a whole lot of flab)
Another tip: don't stare at the baby-to-be (or in some cases, a whole lot of flab)