Please help. Urgent.

[RCglider Profile]

Help A Hockey Player

Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are
going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level.
And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving
pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the coming lockout
situation.

But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves
the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a
start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey
player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in
Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise.

For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent,
half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey
player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy
that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old fully-loaded Escalade
for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the
player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon
signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean
(for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in
case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. >

My preference is (check below):

[ ] Forward
[ ] Defenseman
[ ] Goaltender
[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)
[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the
duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored,
along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob
Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear proudly
on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number: _______________________
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

[Sewer-Urchin]

I would laugh if it weren't all so sad. There's a good article on ESPN.com about the effect that this stupid lockout is having on businesses. In it, they talk to Brad Marsh, former NHL Defenseman who now owns two bars in Ottawa. Man I miss hockey

[Tommy Boy Profile]

yeah, that is sad, but true...

Being in Ottawa now, I know first-hand how hard this is affecting people...

[Murgatroyd]

Do I smell an XHL?

Hahaha

[{CN}Doomfarer]