(joke) Letter from a farm kid

[Mugzy Profile]

Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the
Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to
join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6
am, but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all
you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No
hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.
Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's
warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried
eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can
always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus
yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these
city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long
walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school
teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors
and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting
medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as
a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the
Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable
and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in
boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to
wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they
break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.
I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from
over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time
as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near
300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers
get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Gail

[Hoog]

lol, the end got me

[BladeRunner Profile]

Yep, that was good one. i was reading and scrolling one line
at a time until the end
maybe when Gail gets out she can come help out on the
farm
Around here we measure women by how much they can
plow in a day
one for Gail