Need a laugh
23 posts
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- BloodBudda
by BloodBudda » Tue Mar 25, 2003 8:14 pm
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can Help him. He answers that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers, because it's sooooooooooooooooo much cheaper... so I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she!"
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers, because it's sooooooooooooooooo much cheaper... so I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she!"
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Thu Mar 27, 2003 12:37 am
A man goes to Vegas and hits the jackpot, winning $100,000.
"Damn," he thinks "I know just what to do with this."
So he goes to the local whorehouse with the intent of spending it all on whores. He has a great time for about 2 weeks, and goes through all of the best whorehouses and all the best women.
Finally, he gets down to his last $20.
"Well, I've gone this far, I might as well try for one last go."
So he goes into the house where he is most known, and says to the madam, "Who can I get for $20?"
"I know just the girl! Upstairs and last door on the left."
So he goes up to the door and goes in the room. The woman before him is not half bad... "Damn," he says to her "For 20 bucks I was expecting Sam Kinnison with a vagina or something,"
"Talk is cheap," she says.
So he goes about his business and starts to fuck her and it feels like 40 grit sandpaper!
"Shit! What is wrong with your pussy?"
"Oh, sorry, just give me a minute to fix it."
So she goes into the bathroom and comes back 10 minutes later. He starts screwing her again and its nice and soft.
"What did you do to fix it?" he asks.
"Oh, I just picked the scabs and let the pus run..."
"Damn," he thinks "I know just what to do with this."
So he goes to the local whorehouse with the intent of spending it all on whores. He has a great time for about 2 weeks, and goes through all of the best whorehouses and all the best women.
Finally, he gets down to his last $20.
"Well, I've gone this far, I might as well try for one last go."
So he goes into the house where he is most known, and says to the madam, "Who can I get for $20?"
"I know just the girl! Upstairs and last door on the left."
So he goes up to the door and goes in the room. The woman before him is not half bad... "Damn," he says to her "For 20 bucks I was expecting Sam Kinnison with a vagina or something,"
"Talk is cheap," she says.
So he goes about his business and starts to fuck her and it feels like 40 grit sandpaper!
"Shit! What is wrong with your pussy?"
"Oh, sorry, just give me a minute to fix it."
So she goes into the bathroom and comes back 10 minutes later. He starts screwing her again and its nice and soft.
"What did you do to fix it?" he asks.
"Oh, I just picked the scabs and let the pus run..."
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Thu Mar 27, 2003 12:59 pm
This guy goes bear hunting in the wilderness. He spends all day walking around looking for signs of bear. All day, nothing. Finally, he sees what looks like a bear go behind some bushes. He raises his rifle and fires at where the bear should be. "Got him!" he thinks. When the smoke clears, he checks around...
The bear's gone!
Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder. He whirls around and is face to face with the bear.
The bear looks down at him and says "You've got 2 choices. 1. I rip your head off. 2. You take your clothes off."
The hunter thought about this a few beats... and then started to take his clothes off. Then the bear raped him.
The hunter goes back to the little general store that serves the wilderness area he's in very pissed off and muttering to himself about what he's going to do to that damned bear.... "Rugs, boots, stuffed, heh!"
He goes up to the clerk and says "I want a bigger gun! I need something so big I can't miss!" "Practicing your skills, huh?"
"Shut up!"
"OK here ya go, a .308 magnum... have fun,"
"Whatever..."
So the hunter makes his way back to the same area he found the bear before. He sees the same place...... and sees the bear behind the same bushes! The rifle damn near kicks through his shoulder as he fires into the bushes.... when the smoke clears, he checks around for the carcass.
No bear!
He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around agonizingly.
It's the bear!
"You've got 2 choices. 1. I rip..."
"I know! I know!" says the hunter, cutting the bear off as he starts to take off his clothes. The bear raped him again.
Now the hunter is REALLY fucking mad.... and goes back to the shop to find a better gun. "Give me the biggest goddamn gun you have!" he says.
"Here ya go, .50 cal auto... good luck with that limp, by the way,"
"SHUT UP!"
So the hunter makes his way back to the same area he found the bear before. He sees the same place...... and sees the bear behind the same bushes! The rifle damn near takes his arm off as he fires into the bushes.... when the smoke clears, he checks around for the carcass.
The bear's gone!
The hunter has another sinking feeling, when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
It's the bear!
The bear looks at him and says, "Ya know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were coming up here for more than the hunt..."
The bear's gone!
Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder. He whirls around and is face to face with the bear.
The bear looks down at him and says "You've got 2 choices. 1. I rip your head off. 2. You take your clothes off."
The hunter thought about this a few beats... and then started to take his clothes off. Then the bear raped him.
The hunter goes back to the little general store that serves the wilderness area he's in very pissed off and muttering to himself about what he's going to do to that damned bear.... "Rugs, boots, stuffed, heh!"
He goes up to the clerk and says "I want a bigger gun! I need something so big I can't miss!" "Practicing your skills, huh?"
"Shut up!"
"OK here ya go, a .308 magnum... have fun,"
"Whatever..."
So the hunter makes his way back to the same area he found the bear before. He sees the same place...... and sees the bear behind the same bushes! The rifle damn near kicks through his shoulder as he fires into the bushes.... when the smoke clears, he checks around for the carcass.
No bear!
He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around agonizingly.
It's the bear!
"You've got 2 choices. 1. I rip..."
"I know! I know!" says the hunter, cutting the bear off as he starts to take off his clothes. The bear raped him again.
Now the hunter is REALLY fucking mad.... and goes back to the shop to find a better gun. "Give me the biggest goddamn gun you have!" he says.
"Here ya go, .50 cal auto... good luck with that limp, by the way,"
"SHUT UP!"
So the hunter makes his way back to the same area he found the bear before. He sees the same place...... and sees the bear behind the same bushes! The rifle damn near takes his arm off as he fires into the bushes.... when the smoke clears, he checks around for the carcass.
The bear's gone!
The hunter has another sinking feeling, when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
It's the bear!
The bear looks at him and says, "Ya know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were coming up here for more than the hunt..."
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Thu Mar 27, 2003 1:38 pm
Hey Bukkake, I would think that you would have some good ones for this thread...
I just have to resist the temptation to whip out the "racially and ethnically sensitive" jokes... they are the funniest but most likely to get me in trouble...
Stephanie, great idea for a thread!
I just have to resist the temptation to whip out the "racially and ethnically sensitive" jokes... they are the funniest but most likely to get me in trouble...
Stephanie, great idea for a thread!
23 posts
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