Joke of the Day
- Killer Mike
- RTCW Admin
-
- Posts: 930
- Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2002 8:42 pm
by Killer Mike » Tue Dec 17, 2002 10:13 pm
LOL...I haven't heard those last two jokes in forever!!! Nice ones. 
nice one- Killer Mike
- RTCW Admin
-
- Posts: 930
- Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2002 8:42 pm
by Killer Mike » Thu Dec 19, 2002 1:40 am
here's one
A man walks into a bar, and sees a jar of a lot of money. It said "Win this." The man asked the bartender how he could get it. The bartender said, well...first you have to beat up that guy over there. The man looked over and saw a huge, gigantic 6'7" man sitting at the end of the table. The bartender then said, "there's a rotweiler in the otehr room, and he has a bad tooth. YOu have to pull that out." And then, "You have to screw this old lady across the street." The guy says, alright, but before I do, I need a few shots. He drinks them, goes and beats up the man and comes back for more shots. He gets a whole line of them. He drinks them all and then goes back to the rotweiler. The bartender heard nothing but barking, yellling, screaming. The man then walks out with his clothes all torn. The man then goes, "Okay, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"
A man walks into a bar, and sees a jar of a lot of money. It said "Win this." The man asked the bartender how he could get it. The bartender said, well...first you have to beat up that guy over there. The man looked over and saw a huge, gigantic 6'7" man sitting at the end of the table. The bartender then said, "there's a rotweiler in the otehr room, and he has a bad tooth. YOu have to pull that out." And then, "You have to screw this old lady across the street." The guy says, alright, but before I do, I need a few shots. He drinks them, goes and beats up the man and comes back for more shots. He gets a whole line of them. He drinks them all and then goes back to the rotweiler. The bartender heard nothing but barking, yellling, screaming. The man then walks out with his clothes all torn. The man then goes, "Okay, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"
- Burningwick
by Burningwick » Thu Jan 09, 2003 10:27 am
And God Created Woman . . .
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then God added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then God added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing.
- iceman41
by iceman41 » Thu Jan 09, 2003 7:57 pm
An Ash, S.S., and Gfu get caught trying to steal documents and takin to stalag 13 (German P.O.W. prison). One day they were able to evade Shultz and Klink and made a daring escape. With the Germans hot on their tail and about to overtake them they decided to jump into some trees in an atempt to avoid recapture. The nazis came to the forest in which our heros had hid in three seperate trees. Klink and Shultz were led by their German Shepards to the first tree, which contained S.S...... "Whooo, Whooo" said the S.S. member. "Zere must be an Owl in zat tree!" said Shultz to Klink, "let's continue!!" They then came upon the second tree which contained GFU member..... "tweet, tweet" said the GFU "Zere must be a bird in zat tree!" said Klink to Shultz. "Lets go... los, los!" They were then led to the third and final tree which contained ASH member....... "MOOOOO!"
Thank you... thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses on the way out!
Iceman41
Thank you... thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses on the way out!
Iceman41
by Giggles » Sat Jan 11, 2003 2:49 pm
Here's a little non-rude joke I could think of.... I'm not in the same league as my friend Iceman here though when it comes to tellling jokes....
A policeman is in a lay-by eating his sandwiches when an old woman drives past him, knitting while driving and well over the 70mph speed limit. So the policeman decides to give chase, he pulls out of the lay-by and begins to chase her, puts his flashers on and shouts "pull over". No replied the woman, "A pair of socks".
Best Regards,
Giggles:lol:
A policeman is in a lay-by eating his sandwiches when an old woman drives past him, knitting while driving and well over the 70mph speed limit. So the policeman decides to give chase, he pulls out of the lay-by and begins to chase her, puts his flashers on and shouts "pull over". No replied the woman, "A pair of socks".
Best Regards,
Giggles:lol:
- Wolverine
by Wolverine » Sat Jan 11, 2003 5:59 pm
Originally posted by iceman41
An Ash, S.S., and Gfu get caught trying to steal documents and takin to stalag 13 (German P.O.W. prison). One day they were able to evade Shultz and Klink and made a daring escape. With the Germans hot on their tail and about to overtake them they decided to jump into some trees in an atempt to avoid recapture. The nazis came to the forest in which our heros had hid in three seperate trees. Klink and Shultz were led by their German Shepards to the first tree, which contained S.S...... "Whooo, Whooo" said the S.S. member. "Zere must be an Owl in zat tree!" said Shultz to Klink, "let's continue!!" They then came upon the second tree which contained GFU member..... "tweet, tweet" said the GFU "Zere must be a bird in zat tree!" said Klink to Shultz. "Lets go... los, los!" They were then led to the third and final tree which contained ASH member....... "MOOOOO!"
Thank you... thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses on the way out!
Iceman41
Damn Iceman thats cold. (no pun intented):D
- COL.BUKKAKE
by COL.BUKKAKE » Sun Jan 12, 2003 4:12 am
Q: How do you define confusion?
A: Fathers Day in Harlem.
Q:Why do Italians wear hats?
A: To know which end to wipe.
Q: Whats the difference between Pizzas and Jews?
A: Pizzas dont scream in the oven.
Q: What do you get if you cross a black guy and a gorrilla?
A: A dumb gorilla.
Q: Why was the homosexual fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A:For drinking on the job.
Have you ever seen a Polish sex manual?
1) IN
2)OUT
3)Repeat if necessary
A: Fathers Day in Harlem.
Q:Why do Italians wear hats?
A: To know which end to wipe.
Q: Whats the difference between Pizzas and Jews?
A: Pizzas dont scream in the oven.
Q: What do you get if you cross a black guy and a gorrilla?
A: A dumb gorilla.
Q: Why was the homosexual fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A:For drinking on the job.
Have you ever seen a Polish sex manual?
1) IN
2)OUT
3)Repeat if necessary
- COL.BUKKAKE
by COL.BUKKAKE » Sun Jan 12, 2003 4:21 am
See if you can get the answer to this question.
answer at the bottom.
Q: Imagine that you had an 8inch cock in the middle of your head just above your nose. How long would it look to you when its fully erect?
A) exeactly 8 inches.
B)not sure,but it should look smaller than 8 inches.
C)bigger than 8 inches
D)it depends.
E)......your choice if you think above answers are all wrong.
ANSWER: E) YOU WONT SEE ANYTHING AT ALL....THE BALLS WOULD COVER YOUR EYES.
answer at the bottom.
Q: Imagine that you had an 8inch cock in the middle of your head just above your nose. How long would it look to you when its fully erect?
A) exeactly 8 inches.
B)not sure,but it should look smaller than 8 inches.
C)bigger than 8 inches
D)it depends.
E)......your choice if you think above answers are all wrong.
ANSWER: E) YOU WONT SEE ANYTHING AT ALL....THE BALLS WOULD COVER YOUR EYES.
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