The lets continue this thread...

by **Casus** » Thu May 22, 2003 7:37 am

I said thank you, and hurriedly grabed it and started gulping it down, when all of a sudden...

by **Hoog** » Thu May 22, 2003 8:03 am

...I realized without my glasses on I had grabbed a bed pan and swallowed about a gallon of piss. A look of horror crossed the nurses face just as...

by **Evan** » Thu May 22, 2003 9:17 am

She gave birth to my twins and..

by **Casus** » Thu May 22, 2003 9:39 am

all of a sudden, I had this weird feeling, like my hands were going to fall off. I must have been day dreaming as I was sitting in the kitchen doing the dishes..... OMG they were water soaked, and sitting in dirty dish water for hours.....I grabbed the towl, dried them off, and headed to....

by **{CN}Doomfarer** » Thu May 22, 2003 9:47 am

...the hall closet to grab a towel. When I opened up the door I was confronted with the transvestite midget twins I had kidnapped from the circus...

by **Prowlinger** » Thu May 22, 2003 11:19 am

"Damn... I am losing it..." I said to myself in a dismay of confusion and disbelief. Grabbing the towels, shutting the doors, twins an illusion of my own accord, I turn around only to think back... back to last night at that party... I know I should have not smoked that stuff... It has been years long since I tried any herbal essense... Wait... I don't even remember coming home... Then how the hell am I doing dishes today.... Just then our cute little 17 year old babysitter walks down the hall and says "Hurry up lover... get me that towel... before your wife gets home... I kinda bled on the the stairs..." My visions are fading... infact... I don't remember...

by **Rule of Wrist** » Thu May 22, 2003 11:50 am

...Clearing the cobwebs, I walked out in the back yard and yelled across the fence to my crazy one-eyed neighbor (a dead ringer for Alec Guiness)

"Hey Alec, have you seen my three legged dog, Skippy?"

"Don't call me Alec you damned hippie! If I had seen your dog, I wouldn't be hungry, but right now I could eat the ass out of a rhino! So no I haven't seen your dog!"

That's odd, I thought. If I don't find that dog...

by **Agent-Commando** » Thu May 22, 2003 2:00 pm

This guy is gonna go cannibalism and eat me!! Desperate, I went into a frantic search for my three legged dog, then at my front door 3 guys in black suits with dark glasses showed up. They looked to be like the Agents from the movie Matrix Reloaded. They busted my door down, I greeted them with "Hiya fellas."

"Shall we proceed?" said the first Agent, the second replied "Yes. He is..." And the third Agent finished him off and said "Only human."

by **Prowlinger** » Thu May 22, 2003 3:19 pm

It turned all sour... I knew I wouldn't get away with it... these three goons were from the Alabama Corrections Facility... they had my number. Yeah... it is all coming to me now... my ramshackle trailer is just that... no upstairs.. just a box of milk crates and Valvoline oil boxes. There was no dish water... only a rank stew of homemade 'Old Milwalkle Beer' and some gasoline I think I huffed. Rubbing my eyes in a drinken haze I look over to my baby sitter... "Aw hell... "... This was my first cousin 'Daisy' that is barely out of highschool and who barely plays a good skin-flute-on-the-meat-whistle... They caught me... whether it was the gas snuffin, me screwin my cousin from Tennessee, or my damn crazy one eyed neighbor... I wonder who called the Bama pigs on me?! Next time instead of huffing gas and drinking a 12 pack... I think I am gonna have to...

by **(>Tool<)** » Thu May 22, 2003 3:34 pm

hide in the microwave, I hope they don't turn it on, cause the metal from my surgery may get a bit hot......all of a sudden....

by **Rule of Wrist** » Thu May 22, 2003 3:39 pm

(typing lag; sorry, skipped a post)

... sniff 3 tubes of model airplane glue and mainline some heroin. Yeah..... that's it... That's the ticket! Of course the last time I did that, I downloaded the Anarchist's Cookbook from the Net, built a Blotto Box, nearly killed myself while taking down the 716 area code for a week and then forgot about it...

When Mossad showed up to my door for taking out too many Israeli phone numbers in an hour (not to mention the hasidic porn), I couldn't remember a thing...

Fortunately that led me to my years in Mossad, learning to kill people with nothing more than toenail clippers(hey, it's a growth industry); so handling this 'Bama bacon should be no problem...

by **snake** » Thu May 22, 2003 4:11 pm

to see if its gay for men to clean dishes

by **RCinator** » Thu May 22, 2003 4:53 pm

I remembered that I kept my tranq gun under the sink locked and loaded in case I ever needed a K fix. I reached for it only to find it missing. I looked over at my cousin, just in time to see her shoot the dart into her ripe bosom screaming "take me you dirty dish-washing hunk of a man". And then came the bats . . . I decided not to tell anyone else about the bats - they'd see them soon enough.

"Godammit, man - get me some golf shoes, or we'll never get out of here alive!", I screamed at the officer, borrowing a line from one of my favorite films. The officer looked at me, looked at the sink, and looked at my nearly topless juvenille cousin and ...

by **Rule of Wrist** » Thu May 22, 2003 4:58 pm

said "Did I mention I was also a priest? Too bad your cousin's a girl... YOU on the other hand, will do nicely..."

My eyes widened as a look of abject terror crossed my face.

Thinking quickly, I reached for my...

by **Evan** » Thu May 22, 2003 5:00 pm

*gets off topic*

RC, that part about your "nearly topless juvenille cousin" is funny

The lets continue this thread...

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