If Men Ran the world
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- Wulf
you up and now im the only one left so:
- Aim High
Men's Rules
by Aim High » Sat Nov 30, 2002 3:15 pm
MEN'S RULES
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not a contest to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday equals sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as belly button fluff, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Men's Rules
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not a contest to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday equals sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as belly button fluff, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Men's Rules- Wulf
by Wulf » Sun Dec 01, 2002 2:36 pm
here are my rules for females (and I am one) :
1. Handbags suck , the only thing they are good for is atracting thiefs to steal them.
2. Why spend money on clothes or shoes when you can upgrade your pc with it , or buy cool games ???
3. So what if you are fat ? if someone attacks you, just jump on top of them and fart like hell , that ll show 'em...
4. If your lover is watching sports , tell him to move over and get you some beer, sports are good and you spend social time with eachother sitting on the couch together.
5. Yea so what if he leaves to toilet seat up ??? you put it down anywayz so leave it there, and flushing??? oops forgot to do that hunny:P
6. All that makeup, why ?? To look better ? mm most girls look even uglier with make up on their faces , more money to spend on games.
7. Valentines day aaah, the perfect oppurtunity to ask for that new sidewinder joystick with vibration function, vibrating is a sexual term so its perfect as a valentines gift ...
8. When you go shopping make sure that you know what you want to buy, 15minutes or less in a shop is more than enough time. youre home faster or you have more time to go to a bar.
9. Cleaning up after your husband?? Hell no if he wants to be messy thats his problem, make sure youre not afraid of rats and insects though.
10. Phonecalls that last ours?? please, chat over the internet and play some online games thats way better , or invite your friends over for a pyjama party with some male strippers and a whole lot of beer, 'my husband??' you say.. ugh give him some cash and he's of to some strip club for the night so no worries about that , ( make sure that you didnt have sexual contact for a few days though or else he might not be away that long)
Well thats is. My personal rulez for living the way you should!
" oh hell theres a rat under my desk "
Female gamers Rule !!!
1. Handbags suck , the only thing they are good for is atracting thiefs to steal them.
2. Why spend money on clothes or shoes when you can upgrade your pc with it , or buy cool games ???
3. So what if you are fat ? if someone attacks you, just jump on top of them and fart like hell , that ll show 'em...
4. If your lover is watching sports , tell him to move over and get you some beer, sports are good and you spend social time with eachother sitting on the couch together.
5. Yea so what if he leaves to toilet seat up ??? you put it down anywayz so leave it there, and flushing??? oops forgot to do that hunny:P
6. All that makeup, why ?? To look better ? mm most girls look even uglier with make up on their faces , more money to spend on games.
7. Valentines day aaah, the perfect oppurtunity to ask for that new sidewinder joystick with vibration function, vibrating is a sexual term so its perfect as a valentines gift ...
8. When you go shopping make sure that you know what you want to buy, 15minutes or less in a shop is more than enough time. youre home faster or you have more time to go to a bar.
9. Cleaning up after your husband?? Hell no if he wants to be messy thats his problem, make sure youre not afraid of rats and insects though.
10. Phonecalls that last ours?? please, chat over the internet and play some online games thats way better , or invite your friends over for a pyjama party with some male strippers and a whole lot of beer, 'my husband??' you say.. ugh give him some cash and he's of to some strip club for the night so no worries about that , ( make sure that you didnt have sexual contact for a few days though or else he might not be away that long)
Well thats is. My personal rulez for living the way you should!
" oh hell theres a rat under my desk
"
Female gamers Rule !!!
)
by Jeffro » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:08 pm
Oldest...bump...ever!
http://www.purevolume.com/vagabond
2.4 Ghz, 4x256 RDRAM PC1066,
Radeon 9700 Non-Pro, 4.6
Catalysts, SB audigy 2, DSL
- Killer Mike
- RTCW Admin
-
- Posts: 930
- Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2002 8:42 pm
by Killer Mike » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:14 pm
Originally posted by Jeffro
Oldest...bump...ever!
...pathetic
by Jeffro » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:15 pm
Originally posted by Killer Mike
...pathetic
Yes...I know
http://www.purevolume.com/vagabond
2.4 Ghz, 4x256 RDRAM PC1066,
Radeon 9700 Non-Pro, 4.6
Catalysts, SB audigy 2, DSL
- gowhitesox99
-
- Posts: 4207
- Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2003 10:23 am
- Location: Owning a 9 second import is like coming out of the closet. At first you surprise everyone, but in th
by gowhitesox99 » Tue Aug 31, 2004 8:04 am
WULF... i'm gonna get you on the phone with my wife, you sound like perhaps the perfect woman.
Another one i find funny.
"In a perfect world when your wife/girlfriend wanted to talk to you during a game she would appear in a tiny box in the corner of the screen during a timeout"
Another one i find funny.
"In a perfect world when your wife/girlfriend wanted to talk to you during a game she would appear in a tiny box in the corner of the screen during a timeout"
Weasel!!
;
;- Hellacious
-
- Posts: 1085
- Joined: Sat Apr 12, 2003 2:21 pm
- Location: Corpus Christi Texas
by Hellacious » Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:13 am
LoL That was very funny. There should be one for us girls...
In Game Name [ECGN-ADMIN]Hellacious
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