Jokes Anyone?
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by Rand0m » Fri Apr 23, 2004 7:39 pm
Come on guys booo pick up the pace
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
by Chacal » Fri Apr 23, 2004 9:41 pm
"Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
Chacal
[SIZE="1"][color="LightBlue"]Reporter: "Mr Gandhi, what do you think of western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a great idea."[/color][/SIZE]
[SIZE="1"][color="LightBlue"]Reporter: "Mr Gandhi, what do you think of western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a great idea."[/color][/SIZE]
- Kurith
by Kurith » Fri Apr 23, 2004 10:49 pm
Originally posted by Sir Loin
A cowboy buys a 300,000 acre ranch in the middle of nowhere. Pretty soon he decides to drive around to see if there is anyone else living around him. Sure enough he see's a spot way out in the distance. So he drives up and catches up to the spot, which happens to be another cowboy. So both cowboys get to talking and the new land owner says to the other "hey man why dont you come over to my ranch. We're gonna have a party and there will be plenty of dancing, drinking, partying, fucking............you name it". The other cowboy say "sounds mighty nice...what do you think i otta wear for this party?" The new land owner says "Shit....it dont matter....Its only gonna be me and you."
Never ever ever ever become a comedian... you scavenger of human misery...
by Jeffro » Fri Apr 23, 2004 11:00 pm
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"
http://www.purevolume.com/vagabond
2.4 Ghz, 4x256 RDRAM PC1066,
Radeon 9700 Non-Pro, 4.6
Catalysts, SB audigy 2, DSL
by Jeffro » Fri Apr 23, 2004 11:03 pm
ok here is another joke from ajokeaday.com
It was rated with four stars...hopefully it will be better than the sherlock holmes one
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.".
It was rated with four stars...hopefully it will be better than the sherlock holmes one
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.".
http://www.purevolume.com/vagabond
2.4 Ghz, 4x256 RDRAM PC1066,
Radeon 9700 Non-Pro, 4.6
Catalysts, SB audigy 2, DSL
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