Favorite Jokes
74 posts
• Page 3 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
theres no black boxes in cars
- Gurn Blanston
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 3:21 pm
- Location: Prosperity, SC
by Gurn Blanston » Fri Jul 16, 2004 9:57 am
Two peanuts were walking in Central Park…
One was assaulted!
- Gurn
One was assaulted!
- Gurn
Nothing to see here...
- SkiloDog2000
-
- Posts: 1931
- Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2003 1:05 am
- Location: Cape Cod, Mass
by SkiloDog2000 » Fri Jul 16, 2004 2:28 pm
no offence meant by this joke
i like to think that if i were a black mexican id laugh too
a black guy and a mexican in a car whose drivin?
The Cops
i like to think that if i were a black mexican id laugh too
a black guy and a mexican in a car whose drivin?
The Cops
by ShipWreck » Fri Jul 16, 2004 3:42 pm
name that virus
The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory.
The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The LEWINSKY virus: sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e- mails everyone about what it did.
The RONALD REAGAN virus: saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The JESSE JACKSON virus: warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes.
The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200 MB.
The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all old files.
The PROZAC virus: totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: only attacks minor files.
The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus: terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
and last but not least ...
The LORENA BOBBITT virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory.
The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The LEWINSKY virus: sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e- mails everyone about what it did.
The RONALD REAGAN virus: saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The JESSE JACKSON virus: warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes.
The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200 MB.
The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all old files.
The PROZAC virus: totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: only attacks minor files.
The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus: terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
and last but not least ...
The LORENA BOBBITT virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
- SkiloDog2000
-
- Posts: 1931
- Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2003 1:05 am
- Location: Cape Cod, Mass
by SkiloDog2000 » Fri Jul 16, 2004 3:44 pm
Amish Computer Virus- You've just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, this is based entirely on the honor system. So please delete all the files on your computer. Thank you for your cooperation.
I like the Bob Dole Virus the best!! by Sabres » Sun Jul 25, 2004 11:53 am
A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"
"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.
"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.
"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."
-eBaums World
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"
"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.
"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.
"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."
-eBaums World
by SHWoff » Thu Aug 12, 2004 12:06 am
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
A baby seal walks into a club...
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer, please, and one for the road."
A skeleton walks into a bar and says "give me a beer...and a mop..."
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
A baby seal walks into a club...
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer, please, and one for the road."
A skeleton walks into a bar and says "give me a beer...and a mop..."
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in the boat and drink beer all day...
by SHWoff » Thu Aug 12, 2004 12:16 am
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap underwear. The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see your nuts."
A giraffe walks into a bar and says "highballs on me..."
A giraffe walks into a bar and says "highballs on me..."
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in the boat and drink beer all day...
lol- Fingerbang
-
- Posts: 137
- Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:20 am
- Location: Fort Worth, TX
by Fingerbang » Fri Aug 13, 2004 2:48 pm
You know all those CSI shows that are on TV these days...
CSI Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI New York...
Well, they were going to do a CSI Arkansas, but they found it hard to do, as all of the residents have the same DNA and no dental records...
CSI Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI New York...
Well, they were going to do a CSI Arkansas, but they found it hard to do, as all of the residents have the same DNA and no dental records...
Sometimes, one Finger is all you need.
AKA [HOT] Jenny McCarthy
74 posts
• Page 3 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 6 guests