Favorite Jokes

by **Fingerbang** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 2:53 pm

PROVERBS

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass should
not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes
get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in
doghouse soon find him
in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all
day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell,
bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet
is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house
should change clothes
in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church
sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell
different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

by **Sabres** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:36 pm

Here are my favorites out of that funny list:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church
sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell
different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

:rotflmao:

by **SavageParrot** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:39 pm

What's the difference between an Austalian wedding and an Australien funeral?

There's one fewer drunk at the funeral

by **Sabres** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:44 pm

Thats one of the best I have heard in awhile Savage

:rotflmao:

by **Sabres** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 7:02 pm

Two turtles go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener. The first turtle turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."

"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."

"I promise I won't," says the turtle. "Just hurry!"

Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second turtle. Exasperated and starving, the first turtle digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, the second turtle pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not f-cking going!"

by **Gurn Blanston** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:47 pm

Two strings walk into a bar. The first string goes up to the bartender and says, "I'd like a beer and one for my friend please."
The bartender looks at the string and states,"We don't serve your kind here. Hit the bricks!"
Disappointed, the string returns to his friend and tells him what happened with the bartender. The second string thinks for a while and then tells the first to tie himself up, fuzz up his ends and try again. Puzzled but thirsty, the first does as he suggests and returns to the bartender.
"I'd like a beer and one for my friend please."
"Hey, aren't you that string that was just up here ?", asks the bartender.
The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

by **VlfPlyer** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:01 pm

Originally posted by SavageParrot
What's the difference between an Austalian wedding and an Australien funeral?

There's one fewer drunk at the funeral

Hilarious!!:rotflmao:

by **Sabres** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:56 pm

Originally posted by Gurn Blanston
"No, I'm a frayed knot."

by **VlfPlyer** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 4:16 pm

Dissatisfied with the results he got from his family doctor,
the balding man sought out alternative treatment for his hair
loss. A friend referred him to a scientist who had been
testing a chemical that showed great promise.

Within a week after taking the new drug, hair began to grow
uncontrollably all over his body. The suddenly hirsute fellow
returned to see the scientist.

"What the hell did you give me?" he demanded.

"It was DNA from a woolly mammoth."

"Aha," the hairy man exclaimed. "That would explain the size
of my balls." :rotflmao:

------------------------------------

Kinda pathetic way to ring in 500 posts/spams. But I had no choice.

by **Sabres** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:20 pm

Good one Vlf

by **VlfPlyer** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:46 pm

thnx. wouldn't that be a real drag when you're trying to jog?

by **Sabres** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:53 pm

Hahahaha. I can't imagine that!

by **DocTrebor** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:34 pm

i can boat, canoe?

by **VlfPlyer** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 8:13 pm

Be sure to vote!

by **Colonel Ingus** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 2:07 am

Whats green and has wheels?

Grass... I lied about the wheels

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