French Bashing jokes

[ToeJam]

Originally posted by Alofwar
Even if Hitler did invade at the best time he would have failed, Y u ask, THE RAF THATS Y. It is often said that the RAF only survived because Hitler switched from bombing RAF facilities to cities. This was due to a small number of German bombers going off course and dropping their payload on London, the Churchill ordered a raid on Berlin, then Hitler who didnt know about the German bombers going off course order the switch. Many peoplesay the RAF was close to breaking point until the switch in Geman targets, but it wasnt the RAF that was weak, it was RAF group 11 that protected the south east, so th RAF had plenty of fight in it. At around the same tim, alot of 10 group was moved from the north to the south to reinforce. The RAF never had a shortage of planes, just pilots due to the dramtic shortening of training times. The RAF triumphed "Against all odds" outnumbered by than 3 to 1. A feat which only the RAF could have achived.

The Russian winter mearly stopped the advance, its because of the sheer size of Russias army and production capacity. Russian tanks, though generally inferior on the battlefield were incredabley reliable and easy to repair and build, unlike their German counterparts. You cant give a figure that the German military 7 million strong and expect us to believe that they were all fighting (whether as soldiers, tank or plane crews. the German army had 1million at the start of the war and simply didnt have enough tanks, planes and ships to make up the rest, so stop making stuff up.

Everything was fine in your post until your immature "stop making stuff up" comment. I suggest you grow up as well as subscribe to the military channel while you're at it. The number 7 million strong of the German military wasn't made up, it was on the D-Day special HOSTED by Tom Brockaw. LOL! If you want to answer maturely, then fine...but when you throw in childish comments at an attempt to insult my intelligence, your showing the colors of a young teenager.

If Germany attacked with both air and ground, England would have fallen regardless of the RAF. They WERE at the breaking point, that much you are correct. But don't think for a second that the failure of Germany not to strategize correctly didn't play the role, because it ULTIMATELY did. If Rommel and the Luftwaffe had their way, England would have been lost. Realize that much.

[Rand0m Profile]

I'm not laughing! tisk tisk. stop the arguing and get back to the jokes.

[ToeJam]

Let me rephrase and then I'm out. Germany lost a total of 6.85 million, with 3.25 million deaths coming from the military alone.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A2854730

Other than that, let the jokes continue. I'm not here to argue...I've been a member here far too long to do that.

[SavageParrot Profile]

Originally posted by ToeJam
Also, Russia didn't really have time to prepare. In fact, Stalin and Hitler called a "Truce"

And why do you think stalin signed the agreement. He wasn't an idiot he knew Hitler was coming for he he just wanted all the time he could get to prepare.

As for the channel he needed air superiority before he could attack it was not a matter of choice. We had a much larger navy and unless he could guarantee air superiority to deal with the navy the channel would have been a 30 mile wide shooting gallery. It would have been insane to attack without control of the skies.

[ToeJam]

I agree with you Parrot.

They definitely needed air superiority before they could have launched a land invasion. However, as I have stated, the failure on Germany's part to strategize correctly was the turning point in favor of the allies. For even when the US landed on D-Day, the elite Panzer divisions were held off for several days because for one they thought a bigger attack and invasion was coming "later". So much so that Rommel was in Berlin on D-Day for a birthday! These "tiny" mishaps had enormous reprecussion, and why Germany ultimately lost... thankfully.

Perhaps the end result would have been the same with Germany being defeated...however I strongly feel it would have been bloodier with the death toll being much higher if Germany siezed on several opportunities when they were presented.

[=ender= Profile]

Hey! What the hell happened to the jokes?! I feel ripped off.

[cavalierlwt Profile]

The French were geographically in a shitty spot.
As for Germany/Russia, here's a scary thought.
If Gemany had manufactured a Russian conflict before starting hostilities with anyone else, America would have supported Germany's Russian invasion with material and money. It may sound like far fetched bullshit, but America was very, very unhappy with the whole idea of Communism, and was shaking in it's boots about it as they came through the tail end of the Great Depression. No one liked the Communists. Germany on the other hand had reasonable good relations with us before WWII. Had Germany went straight for Russia (through Poland?) they would kicked Russia's ass. No two front war, no entire world vs Germany, etc. Then after taking Russia out, converting them into a Nazi breadbasket and hardware store, Germany (the new expanded, friggin HUGE Germany) could have just sat around for a year or two and built up, than kicked the ever living shit out of all of us.

[=ender= Profile]

That still doesn't sound like a joke.

<sigh>

[ToeJam]

Originally posted by =ender=
That still doesn't sound like a joke.

<sigh>

[cavalierlwt Profile]

Whoops sorry. Closest thing I have is my grandfather used to refer to jumping jacks as French military exercises because of the part where you throw your hands up in the air (looks like the hands-up surrender posture)

[Namloot Profile Website]

Originally posted by RCglider
My favorite:
# "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."

-- Gen. George S. Patton

And a side dish:
Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada. -- Ted Nugent

Ok, enough. Chacal has a sense of humor, but let's not push it

Wow!

[Namloot Profile Website]

Originally posted by Zoolander2
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

"Did you mean: french military defeats


No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.

Your search - french military victories - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
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Also, you can try Google Answers for expert help with your search."


Double wow!

[=ender= Profile]

[Alofwar Profile]

When u said 7 million i thought u meant at one time, you never said that was how many died, in which case it is more believeable and i apoligise for saying u made the stuff up.

What was said about if Germany went straight for Russia, America may have supported them but not through Poland, u forget the reason Britain and France declared war was because Germany invaded Poland who were very good friends of our at the time and America would have rathered not have done that to an ally than support an old enemy. But i agree America would have supported a German invasion of the USSR if it had come first.

I admit if Germany did lnad troops we would have been finished. But they never had air supierority and they were still living in fear of the Royal Navy ever since the Firstworld war Germany had prefered not to engage us in a full scale naval battle, when it did come in WW1, the battle of Jutland, we did win, but the admiral chose not to pursue the German fleet because of a torpedo spread that would'nt have done much damage, yes we beat them, but we hadn't "Trafalgared them" like we had wanted too.

Once again apologise fpr what i said Toejam, friends?

[Alofwar Profile]

The French dont want to reform Europe to improve the economics and properity of Europe so they can keep producing 264 different kinds of CHEESE!!!!!!!!
How far do they have their heads up their own arses!!!!!!!!