Joke of the Day
- El Cid
by Bossman » Sat Apr 17, 2004 9:48 am
Three Irishmen and three Englishmen are travelling by train to a
football match in London. At the station, the three English each buy a
ticket and watch as the three Irish buy just one ticket between them.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?", asks one
of The English.
"Watch and learn," answers one of the Irish.
They all board the train. The English take their respective seats but
all three Irish cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed the conductor arrives to collect
the tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The English are mightily impressed by this, so after the game,
they decide to copy the Irish on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip...
To their astonishment, the Irish don't buy a ticket at all !!
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed
Englishman. "Watch and learn..." says one Paddy.
When they board the train the three Irish cram into a toilet and soon after the three
English pile into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards,
one of the Irish leaves the toilet and sneaks across to the toilet where
the English are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please..."
football match in London. At the station, the three English each buy a
ticket and watch as the three Irish buy just one ticket between them.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?", asks one
of The English.
"Watch and learn," answers one of the Irish.
They all board the train. The English take their respective seats but
all three Irish cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed the conductor arrives to collect
the tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The English are mightily impressed by this, so after the game,
they decide to copy the Irish on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip...
To their astonishment, the Irish don't buy a ticket at all !!
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed
Englishman. "Watch and learn..." says one Paddy.
When they board the train the three Irish cram into a toilet and soon after the three
English pile into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards,
one of the Irish leaves the toilet and sneaks across to the toilet where
the English are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please..."
by Bossman » Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:05 am
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.
One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy."What is it?"
Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.' Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.
One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy."What is it?"
Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.' Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.
by Bossman » Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:07 am
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist."
And that's when the proctologist fainted.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist."
And that's when the proctologist fainted.
by Bossman » Tue May 04, 2004 11:54 am
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in evident extreme agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me."
"Oomph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be allright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
"Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me."
"Oomph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be allright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
"Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
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