If Men Ran the world

by **MMmmGood** » Wed Oct 23, 2002 5:48 am

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.

3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.

8. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".

9. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".

10. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

11. Two words..."Ally McNaked".

12. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off".

13. People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

14. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

15. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

16. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

17. It would perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

18. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".

19. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

20. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".

21. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

22. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

23. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

24. Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.

25. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

by **SilverSurfer** » Wed Oct 23, 2002 11:49 am

wooow

lol i dont think the girls that play rtcw will like to hear this :rotflmao:

but i dont care hehe

unfortunatly all that you say is just a dream

by **[A.S.H.]ironman** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 9:47 pm

HI ALL

u forgot a few dude

26] while sitting on the couch watching the ball game u wouldt get payed

27] the goverment gives u every week a ounce of weed for being a good boy.

28] the plates and forks wouldt wash them seleves...

29] Playing games wouldt be a job...

30] girls wouldt be like buses u miss one u get the next..

31] Razor blades wouldt be banned...

32] more then one wife wouldt be exeptable...

by **Nuke** » Fri Nov 15, 2002 6:47 pm

Damn MMmm were do you come up with this stuff, you need to be a comedian

by **Wulf** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 1:59 pm

GRRRRRRRRRR it happens to be that im female :mad:

but what you said was damn funny but still...

this is what i would do to you --> :flame:

by **Nuke** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 2:01 pm

Whoa a female playing a video game, let alone Battlefield. That is cool and strange at the same time. :eek:

by **Wulf** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 2:04 pm

hahahaha i play battlefield , rtcw , mohaa , avp2 primal hunt , gangsters 2 , formula 1 2002 , neverwinternights , morrowind , tribes 2 , UT3 , stronghold , black & white and much more single player games ...

oh and i have every console ecxept the dreamcast sega saturn and gamecube. MUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA :rotflmao:

and me loveeeeeeeeeeee beer :beer:

by **Nuke** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 2:07 pm

And who doesnt like beer its is the best:beer:

Lets all have a drink.

:beer:

by **Wulf** » Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:35 pm

now ur talking

i feel funny :rotflmao:

my pc doesnt stop spinning :help:

by **SilverSurfer** » Fri Nov 22, 2002 4:58 am

hehe that happens when you are not used to drink a :beer:

when you come over i willl learn you how to drink proparly

by **Wulf** » Fri Nov 22, 2002 11:24 am

haha lol silver youd be suprised how good i can drink , perhaps im not the fastest drinker arround ( still female lol ) but i can easly pore 15-18 beers in my troath without blacking out , not that i can stand straight up but thats another thing

by **SilverSurfer** » Fri Nov 22, 2002 1:42 pm

speed is everything in live
so you drink ass fast as you are in rtcw

i knew you were slow in the game
but that you drink beer also slow thats something new

by **Camel toe joe** » Fri Nov 22, 2002 4:26 pm

get a room you 2....

by **Wulf** » Sat Nov 23, 2002 7:45 am

ooh if thats the deal silver then im one of the fastest drinkers there is in the world of gaming

by **SilverSurfer** » Sat Nov 23, 2002 7:48 am

you can never beat this

:beer:

If Men Ran the world

If Men Ran the world

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