Attainable New Year's Resolutions
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Attainable New Year's Resolutions
by Chacal » Thu Jan 01, 2004 4:18 pm
*Attainable New Year's Resolutions*
This year, I resolve to...
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Waste of time.
- Read less. Makes you think.
- Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball
of twine.
- Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
- Not have eight children at once.
- Get in a whole NEW rut!
- Start being superstitious.
- Personal goal: bring back disco.
- Not bet against the Minnesota Vikings.
- Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
- Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for
a belt.
- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
- Not eat cloned meat.
- Create loose ends.
- Get more toys.
- Get further in debt.
- Not believe politicians.
- Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
- Stay off the International Space Station.
- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
- Associate with even worse business clients.
- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
- Wait around for opportunity.
- Focus on the faults of others.
- Mope about my faults.
- Never make New Year's resolutions again.
This year, I resolve to...
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Waste of time.
- Read less. Makes you think.
- Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball
of twine.
- Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
- Not have eight children at once.
- Get in a whole NEW rut!
- Start being superstitious.
- Personal goal: bring back disco.
- Not bet against the Minnesota Vikings.
- Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
- Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for
a belt.
- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
- Not eat cloned meat.
- Create loose ends.
- Get more toys.
- Get further in debt.
- Not believe politicians.
- Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
- Stay off the International Space Station.
- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
- Associate with even worse business clients.
- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
- Wait around for opportunity.
- Focus on the faults of others.
- Mope about my faults.
- Never make New Year's resolutions again.
Chacal
[SIZE="1"][color="LightBlue"]Reporter: "Mr Gandhi, what do you think of western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a great idea."[/color][/SIZE]
[SIZE="1"][color="LightBlue"]Reporter: "Mr Gandhi, what do you think of western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a great idea."[/color][/SIZE]
- SGT DEVILDOG
-
- Posts: 1056
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2003 3:02 am
- Location: Washington State
by SGT DEVILDOG » Fri Jan 02, 2004 6:01 am
2 years ago I made a resolution not to make anymore resoltuions...so far so good.
[img]DevilDog
" We are not retreating. We are attacking in a different direction" Chesty Puller...USMC
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