Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:18 pm
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your
national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. McNaughton. I see you live on Glenforest
St., and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell nu mber is 266-2566.
Email address is douglasmcn@home.net. Which number are you
calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This
will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-
Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate
that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high
cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such
an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from
your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two fami ly-sized ones,
then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is
$49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in
cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up
while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a
motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just
filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already
got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing at a cop and another
one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at
a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day
stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza
since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2-liter of Coke.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution
prohibits this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. McNaughton. I see you live on Glenforest
St., and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell nu mber is 266-2566.
Email address is douglasmcn@home.net. Which number are you
calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This
will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-
Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate
that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high
cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such
an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from
your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two fami ly-sized ones,
then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is
$49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in
cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up
while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a
motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just
filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already
got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing at a cop and another
one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at
a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day
stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza
since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2-liter of Coke.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution
prohibits this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:22 pm
lmao
Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:27 pm
hilarous, LOL
Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:12 pm
Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:17 pm
Hilarious!
Where did you find that? Or did you make it up?
Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:24 pm
It was e-mailed to me.
It's funny, and yet...
It's funny, and yet...
Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:56 pm
Originally posted by Chacal
It was e-mailed to me.
It's funny, and yet...
it's true.
Fri Dec 17, 2004 1:00 am
actually not true, the part about the soy pizza and soda.
When it comes to drugs, America is very, very concerned about your safety.
But when it comes to heart attacks, clogged arteries, obesity, well..that's just good business. Would you like to supersize that?
When it comes to drugs, America is very, very concerned about your safety.
But when it comes to heart attacks, clogged arteries, obesity, well..that's just good business. Would you like to supersize that?
Fri Dec 17, 2004 1:09 am
Funny stuff.
The customer is a loser though and cannot handle living in a free society.
He doesn't pay his loans back. His checking account is overdrawn. His credit card is over it's limit. Has run-ins with the law and judge. He spent time in jail.
He still managed to have 4 kids and 2 dogs he can't afford !
Somebody give this guy a packet of Ramon Noodles !!
The customer is a loser though and cannot handle living in a free society.
He doesn't pay his loans back. His checking account is overdrawn. His credit card is over it's limit. Has run-ins with the law and judge. He spent time in jail.
He still managed to have 4 kids and 2 dogs he can't afford !
Somebody give this guy a packet of Ramon Noodles !!
Fri Dec 17, 2004 7:17 am
Originally posted by CodeRed68
Funny stuff.
The customer is a loser though and cannot handle living in a free society.
He doesn't pay his loans back. His checking account is overdrawn. His credit card is over it's limit. Has run-ins with the law and judge. He spent time in jail.
He still managed to have 4 kids and 2 dogs he can't afford !
Somebody give this guy a packet of Ramon Noodles !!
One of the best posts ever, well done codered
Fri Dec 17, 2004 7:24 am
Originally posted by Chacal
It was e-mailed to me.
It's funny, and yet...
yep, food for thought.
people used to joke about "big brother watching" it's no
longer a joking matter.
Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:42 am
and they still can't deliver within thirty minutes... I want a refund.
Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:50 am
Im a manager for Pizza Hut. we all got that same letter like a month ago and it was great. But little do you know what I have to put up with every day.
Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:54 am
?
guess this means I dont get a refund huh?
seriously, I'm sure it grief Hellacious.
...But little do you know what I have to put up with every day.
guess this means I dont get a refund huh?
seriously, I'm sure it grief Hellacious.
Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:56 am
Originally posted by Hellacious
do you know what I have to put up with every day.
Does it involve cheese?