Mort's joke of the week

[B]

The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody.He had it narrowed
down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible
decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he
decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next
morning.Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after
partying all night.She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The Boss
approached her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before, but I
have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel
like shit."

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[ferret963 Profile ICQYIM]

lmao

[Alofwar Profile]

Q: What do a slapper and a bowling ball have in common?

A: They both get picked up, fingered and banged down an alley!!

[dopeninjaturtle Profile]

l
o
l

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Uh...and a "Slapper" is a Hooker??:freak:

[Alofwar Profile]

yeah, a slapper is a hooker.

[Sabres Profile ICQ]

Originally posted by B
The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody.He had it narrowed
down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible
decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he
decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next
morning.Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after
partying all night.She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The Boss
approached her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before, but I
have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel
like shit."

I've heard this so many times but it is still funny every time.

[||ASS||Mortimer Profile Website]

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

[Alofwar Profile]

2 Fish in a tank, one says: You drive, i'll fire the gun.

2 Fish swim into a concrete wall, 1 says: Dam.

[Alofwar Profile]

Guys walks into a bar

OUCH

[Sabres Profile ICQ]

Guy walks into a bar

he orders a drink

[Alofwar Profile]

A polar bear wlaks into a bar and says: I'll have a Gin...................................................and tonic

The barman says: Why the bigs paws

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A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, "Open the safe."
She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot."
She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He says, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"

[B]

Funny