Creative Nonsense Cramming....
Tue Apr 01, 2003 2:12 am
Hey let's have a contest to see how much nonsense and crazitude one can cram into one thread!
I am good at wild tangents, I've seen others with the Abilitus Nonsensicus Magnus in them as well..... get creative!
I'm tired right now, but later I'll give it a real good one...
Or I could just use one of Bloodbudda's posts...
I am good at wild tangents, I've seen others with the Abilitus Nonsensicus Magnus in them as well..... get creative!
I'm tired right now, but later I'll give it a real good one...
Or I could just use one of Bloodbudda's posts...
Tue Apr 01, 2003 1:14 pm
This is all a dream and you will wake up when I snap my finger. LOL
Tue Apr 01, 2003 1:31 pm
talking nonsense?
did you knew Beast is actually a good player...
(he's going to be SO mad on me for this)
did you knew Beast is actually a good player...
(he's going to be SO mad on me for this
)
Tue Apr 01, 2003 1:50 pm
Letter from an Irish farmer to the Tax Collectors:
Dear Sirs,
Your letter arrived this morning in an open envelope and it would have given my son and myself pleasure had it not revived in us a melancholy reflection of thought the account could have been settled long ago, and you could not understand why it hadn't. Well, here is the reason.
In 1987 I purchased a hay shed on credit. In 1988 I bought a combine harvester, a manure spreader, two horses, a double barrel shifter, two cows and ten razor back pigs, also on credit. In 1989 the bloody hay shed burnt to the ground leaving not a damn thing. I got no insurance either as the bloody premium lapsed. One of the horses went lame and I loaned the other one to my brother who starved the poor bugger to death.
In 1990 my father died and my brother was put away when he tried to marry one of his sheep named Hilda. A knacker got my daughter pregnant and I had to pay him a grand to stop him becoming one of my relatives.
In 1991 my son got the mumps which spread to his balls and he had to be castrated to save his life. Later in the year I went fishing on the Shannon and the bloody boat overturned, drowning two of my sons, neither being the eunuch who was by now wearing his sister's make-up and dresses. Not long after he emigrated to America with the new parish priest. They are now married and trying for children.
In 1992 my wife ran away with a pig jobber from Drumlish and left me with new-born twins as a souvenir and I had to get a housekeeper, so I married her to keep down expenses. I had a hell of a job getting her pregnant (to qualify for more children's allowance).
I went to see the doctor. He advised me to create some excitement at the crucial moment so that night I brought my shotgun to bed and when I thought the moment was right I leaned out of bed and shot both barrels through the window, the wife shit the bed, I ruptured myself, and the next morning I found I had blown both doors off the barn, shot my best dairy cow and killed the knacker who was in the hay loft with my daughter trying to get more money out of me, which she did because I had to pay for his funeral expenses.
The next year, 1993, someone cut the balls off my prize bull, poisoned the water, and set fire to the house. I was bolloxed and took to the drink and did not stop until all I had left was a pocket watch and a weak bladder.
Winding the watch and running for a piss kept me busy for a time. This year I took heart again and bought (on the hire purchase) a bulldozer, tractor and trailer and a new bull. Then the Shannon flooded and washed the bloody lot away, my second wife got VD from a land inspector and my last surviving son died from wiping his arse on a poisoned rabbit I had put down for dogs who were worrying my sheep.
It surprises me very much that you say you will cause trouble if I don't pay up. If you can think of anything I've missed I should like to know about it.
Trying to get money out of me will be like trying to butter a hedgehog's hole backwards with a knitting needle. I'm praying for a cloud of cat shit to pass your way and I hope it will fall on you and the bastards in your office who sent me this final demand.
Yours for more credit,
John Murphy
And you got it bad?
Dear Sirs,
Your letter arrived this morning in an open envelope and it would have given my son and myself pleasure had it not revived in us a melancholy reflection of thought the account could have been settled long ago, and you could not understand why it hadn't. Well, here is the reason.
In 1987 I purchased a hay shed on credit. In 1988 I bought a combine harvester, a manure spreader, two horses, a double barrel shifter, two cows and ten razor back pigs, also on credit. In 1989 the bloody hay shed burnt to the ground leaving not a damn thing. I got no insurance either as the bloody premium lapsed. One of the horses went lame and I loaned the other one to my brother who starved the poor bugger to death.
In 1990 my father died and my brother was put away when he tried to marry one of his sheep named Hilda. A knacker got my daughter pregnant and I had to pay him a grand to stop him becoming one of my relatives.
In 1991 my son got the mumps which spread to his balls and he had to be castrated to save his life. Later in the year I went fishing on the Shannon and the bloody boat overturned, drowning two of my sons, neither being the eunuch who was by now wearing his sister's make-up and dresses. Not long after he emigrated to America with the new parish priest. They are now married and trying for children.
In 1992 my wife ran away with a pig jobber from Drumlish and left me with new-born twins as a souvenir and I had to get a housekeeper, so I married her to keep down expenses. I had a hell of a job getting her pregnant (to qualify for more children's allowance).
I went to see the doctor. He advised me to create some excitement at the crucial moment so that night I brought my shotgun to bed and when I thought the moment was right I leaned out of bed and shot both barrels through the window, the wife shit the bed, I ruptured myself, and the next morning I found I had blown both doors off the barn, shot my best dairy cow and killed the knacker who was in the hay loft with my daughter trying to get more money out of me, which she did because I had to pay for his funeral expenses.
The next year, 1993, someone cut the balls off my prize bull, poisoned the water, and set fire to the house. I was bolloxed and took to the drink and did not stop until all I had left was a pocket watch and a weak bladder.
Winding the watch and running for a piss kept me busy for a time. This year I took heart again and bought (on the hire purchase) a bulldozer, tractor and trailer and a new bull. Then the Shannon flooded and washed the bloody lot away, my second wife got VD from a land inspector and my last surviving son died from wiping his arse on a poisoned rabbit I had put down for dogs who were worrying my sheep.
It surprises me very much that you say you will cause trouble if I don't pay up. If you can think of anything I've missed I should like to know about it.
Trying to get money out of me will be like trying to butter a hedgehog's hole backwards with a knitting needle. I'm praying for a cloud of cat shit to pass your way and I hope it will fall on you and the bastards in your office who sent me this final demand.
Yours for more credit,
John Murphy
And you got it bad?
Tue Apr 01, 2003 2:48 pm
Beast and me are going to win this one... I can just see!
Tue Apr 01, 2003 4:56 pm
I'll start a story, others continue it... and we're off!
So Jed wakes up one morning and thinks to himself, "Well, now that I'm alone because my wife just eloped with the milkman, I can find some meaning and purpose to my humble sperm bank receptionist's life,"
"To hell with dealing with all of those unsatisfied customers! It's not my fault we're in Oklahoma!"
Jed gets out of bed and immediately trips over his pet armadillo, reggie. "Damn, his armor always KILLS my tootsies! If he wasn't so good at killing the neighbors' llamas, I'd get rid of him!"
All of a sudden, Jed heard a commotion at his front door. He walked to the door, opened it..... and couldn't believe his eyes..........
So Jed wakes up one morning and thinks to himself, "Well, now that I'm alone because my wife just eloped with the milkman, I can find some meaning and purpose to my humble sperm bank receptionist's life,"
"To hell with dealing with all of those unsatisfied customers! It's not my fault we're in Oklahoma!"
Jed gets out of bed and immediately trips over his pet armadillo, reggie. "Damn, his armor always KILLS my tootsies! If he wasn't so good at killing the neighbors' llamas, I'd get rid of him!"
All of a sudden, Jed heard a commotion at his front door. He walked to the door, opened it..... and couldn't believe his eyes..........
nonsense enough for ya?
Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:13 pm
Originally posted by Rule of Wrist
I'll start a story, others continue it... and we're off!
So Jed wakes up one morning and thinks to himself, "Well, now that I'm alone because my wife just eloped with the milkman, I can find some meaning and purpose to my humble sperm bank receptionist's life,"
"To hell with dealing with all of those unsatisfied customers! It's not my fault we're in Oklahoma!"
Jed gets out of bed and immediately trips over his pet armadillo, reggie. "Damn, his armor always KILLS my tootsies! If he wasn't so good at killing the neighbors' llamas, I'd get rid of him!"
All of a sudden, Jed heard a commotion at his front door. He walked to the door, opened it..... and couldn't believe his eyes..........
it was bob, jed's next door neighbor. "we've got a problem jed." said bob.
Jed asked with a smile on his face, "my armadillo didnt kill anohter one of your llamas again did he?"
"no, its worse than that. that damn armadillo is a queer. he keeps on porking all of my male llamas in the ass. now they are all walking bow legged. what are you going to do about it Jed?"
Jed says, "I gotta see this!" Jed went with bob to see his llamas...
Tue Apr 01, 2003 6:55 pm
Meanwhile, Jeds wife Nina and the milkman are driving towards Las Vegas at 85 mph. Jed's wife and the milkman met 3 weeks ago while Jed was out of town. The milkman came to the door of Jeds house, with the milk, and a note from his manger back at the milk center that Jed and his wife were 3 weeks over due on their milk account.
Knock, Knock, The milkman waits for a response at the door.
Inside the house Nina is just getting out of bed, and wearing her cotton nightie, and boxer underwear. Her breasts are huge, and they press against the outside of her shirt. Nina walks to the door, and opens it.
"arhgmmmm.. Um, excuse me Maam, ahh, I wanted to let you know that my boss erggghh, well, your account is overdue..."
Nina thinks: "Jed is so broke, I'm sick of him never makin enough money. I'm gonna leave him. But first let me have some fun."
"Oh really!" Nina replies in mock surprise. "Please come in and I'll settle the bill, my husband is at work all day long, but I think I can take care of this..."
"Please come into the kitchen Mr. Milkman." Cries out Nina, searching for her checkbook.
The milkman follows. Meanwhile by this time the Milkman has a hardon the size of Texas, and is lucky to even be walking. Walking to the kitchen, he see's Nina bent over her checkbook, looking down at Nina, the Milkman glances at her enormous cleevage, and her bra less nipples pressed against the outside of her thin white shirt.
Then just at that moment Nina remembers that there is nothing in her husbands checking account.......................
Knock, Knock, The milkman waits for a response at the door.
Inside the house Nina is just getting out of bed, and wearing her cotton nightie, and boxer underwear. Her breasts are huge, and they press against the outside of her shirt. Nina walks to the door, and opens it.
"arhgmmmm.. Um, excuse me Maam, ahh, I wanted to let you know that my boss erggghh, well, your account is overdue..."
Nina thinks: "Jed is so broke, I'm sick of him never makin enough money. I'm gonna leave him. But first let me have some fun."
"Oh really!" Nina replies in mock surprise. "Please come in and I'll settle the bill, my husband is at work all day long, but I think I can take care of this..."
"Please come into the kitchen Mr. Milkman." Cries out Nina, searching for her checkbook.
The milkman follows. Meanwhile by this time the Milkman has a hardon the size of Texas, and is lucky to even be walking. Walking to the kitchen, he see's Nina bent over her checkbook, looking down at Nina, the Milkman glances at her enormous cleevage, and her bra less nipples pressed against the outside of her thin white shirt.
Then just at that moment Nina remembers that there is nothing in her husbands checking account.......................
Tue Apr 01, 2003 7:21 pm
...............so she drops to her knees, sucks on his knob and he shoots a load in her mouth.
" My goodness, you swallow?" asks the Milkman.
" Sure do and might I add, you have the best damn cum I have ever tasted" slurps Nina
Meanwhile Jed and Bob set off to check on the bowlegged llamas.
"I'll be damned" says Jed " You werent kidding, these llamas are bowlegged"
"I told you Jed, now how are you going to repay me, these llamas are worthless now"...............
" My goodness, you swallow?" asks the Milkman.
" Sure do and might I add, you have the best damn cum I have ever tasted" slurps Nina
Meanwhile Jed and Bob set off to check on the bowlegged llamas.
"I'll be damned" says Jed " You werent kidding, these llamas are bowlegged"
"I told you Jed, now how are you going to repay me, these llamas are worthless now"...............
Tue Apr 01, 2003 9:34 pm
......... "I trained the little prick to kill them, you stupid bastard!"
"I just didn't think he was sick enough to kill them that way, too...."
As they stood in the field, the armadillo came running very fast at a llama, jumped, rolled itself into a ball in midair and struck the llama in the head, knocking it unconscious. He then went around to the back of the thing and starting raping it vigorously.
"Wow, he's a smart little guy, I just trained him for the bowling ball maneuver, he must have learned the prone assram technique from watching me and the wife, that conniving slut of a whore!" thought Jed.
"Now good luck selling the soiled llama hair on the open market you flea-ridden swine! This is to get you back for the chiggers you put in my shampoo last month!" yelled Jed.
Jed then kicked Bob in the cock, and walked back to his house and bolted the door, while Reggie the necrophiliac armadillo went about his work.
"Well at least that brightens my day somewhat," thought Jed.
Then something caught his eye out of the front window of his double-wide....
"I just didn't think he was sick enough to kill them that way, too...."
As they stood in the field, the armadillo came running very fast at a llama, jumped, rolled itself into a ball in midair and struck the llama in the head, knocking it unconscious. He then went around to the back of the thing and starting raping it vigorously.
"Wow, he's a smart little guy, I just trained him for the bowling ball maneuver, he must have learned the prone assram technique from watching me and the wife, that conniving slut of a whore!" thought Jed.
"Now good luck selling the soiled llama hair on the open market you flea-ridden swine! This is to get you back for the chiggers you put in my shampoo last month!" yelled Jed.
Jed then kicked Bob in the cock, and walked back to his house and bolted the door, while Reggie the necrophiliac armadillo went about his work.
"Well at least that brightens my day somewhat," thought Jed.
Then something caught his eye out of the front window of his double-wide....
Thu Apr 03, 2003 12:30 pm
F-150 Red, Super- duty, V-8, awesome truck. As he was driving back, a poor little puppy was lying on the road on his back, looking like he had just gotten a blow- job. The farmer stopped and got out of his truck
Just then, the little puppy blew a shot at the farmer in the face.
"I'm not gay!" The farmer called to the dog
The dog whined. Apparently, he was gay.
The farmer was a kind hearted man who brought the dog into the back of his truck after he safely secured a "cum-free" mask he had boughten from a Sex Toy store.
When he got into the driveway, something familiar caught his eye; his wife's boobs.
"How did they get outa that steel trap she had them in?" He thought.
The dog, perverted thing he was, jumped out of the truck and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the sight of those whoppers.
The farmer, blinded for the moment of his wife's hooters, finally jumped out of the truck and slammed the door behind him. He opened the door just to see his wife and the milkman..................
Just then, the little puppy blew a shot at the farmer in the face.
"I'm not gay!" The farmer called to the dog
The dog whined. Apparently, he was gay.
The farmer was a kind hearted man who brought the dog into the back of his truck after he safely secured a "cum-free" mask he had boughten from a Sex Toy store.
When he got into the driveway, something familiar caught his eye; his wife's boobs.
"How did they get outa that steel trap she had them in?" He thought.
The dog, perverted thing he was, jumped out of the truck and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the sight of those whoppers.
The farmer, blinded for the moment of his wife's hooters, finally jumped out of the truck and slammed the door behind him. He opened the door just to see his wife and the milkman..................
Thu Apr 03, 2003 1:08 pm
All of a sudden... JED, the Oklahoma sperm bank receptionist... hears a noise behind him, its a black van with a red stripe down the side driving slowly down the block... the sliding door opens a little... Jed realizes what's going on and dives on the ground...
Bullets fired from an automatic weapon within the van ripped the air, shredding his wife, the milkman, that stupid little fucking gay dog, the Ford F-150 and his favorite mailbox. As the van drove away, he could have sworn that he caught a glimpse of a mohawk and gold chains on the guy in the van.
"Dammit!" thought Jed. "I got so much good mail out of that box, victoria's secret, swedish penis enlargers, samples from work for bob's llamas... oh well"
"This has been an odd day, maybe I'll try looking for a different job today," thought Jed. But then he looked across the trailer park to see his neighor Ned's blinds opening very slowly. Jed could swear he could see a.........
Bullets fired from an automatic weapon within the van ripped the air, shredding his wife, the milkman, that stupid little fucking gay dog, the Ford F-150 and his favorite mailbox. As the van drove away, he could have sworn that he caught a glimpse of a mohawk and gold chains on the guy in the van.
"Dammit!" thought Jed. "I got so much good mail out of that box, victoria's secret, swedish penis enlargers, samples from work for bob's llamas... oh well"
"This has been an odd day, maybe I'll try looking for a different job today," thought Jed. But then he looked across the trailer park to see his neighor Ned's blinds opening very slowly. Jed could swear he could see a.........
Thu Apr 03, 2003 1:23 pm
......... dude with the same gold chains that had driven off before!
"It must have been the A-Team!" He excitedly thought. "I didn't know they went after adulterers and gay dogs!"
He didn't know, either, that Ned was an adulterer and that he had a gay dog. The A-Team had him, too!
Or maybe it was Carrot Top! The "Dial down the center for 1800-Call-ATT" guy. His red hair could confuse anyone.
Deppressed because his mailbox was gone, he started walking to Home Depot to quickly replace his lost one so he could immediately start recieving again the Playboy Magazines.
When he got there, he saw that the dude with the Mohawk had already gotten there, and he was looking for a power saw to probably cut Ned's head off! Lucky for him, the dude with the mowhawk had pants on that said "Kick Me" located right in the balls because he had put his pants on backwards.
Jed tapped him on the shoulder, "Excuse me, sir," he gulped.
The man turned around, and Jed, as hard as he could gave the man a double- whammy in the Meat and Two Veg! The man doubled over on the floor in pain, and he sat there for a day while Jed stood there, just laughing at him.
The next day, though, the man got up while Jed was sleeping. He reached for his own jewels and started counting, "One, Two, Three... Alright, I'm fine".
Then the most horrible thing happened. The man with the mowhawk walked over to Jed, reached for his nuts, grabbed them, raised him into the air, but Jed fell down while the man still had his balls!!!
"Wait!!!" the man with the mowhawk screamed. "These are fake ones that he glued on!!!" Jed started running as fast as he could to escape the horror. He must have run around the world 50 times before he slowed down and burst into Ned's house saying, .....................
"It must have been the A-Team!" He excitedly thought. "I didn't know they went after adulterers and gay dogs!"
He didn't know, either, that Ned was an adulterer and that he had a gay dog. The A-Team had him, too!
Or maybe it was Carrot Top! The "Dial down the center for 1800-Call-ATT" guy. His red hair could confuse anyone.
Deppressed because his mailbox was gone, he started walking to Home Depot to quickly replace his lost one so he could immediately start recieving again the Playboy Magazines.
When he got there, he saw that the dude with the Mohawk had already gotten there, and he was looking for a power saw to probably cut Ned's head off! Lucky for him, the dude with the mowhawk had pants on that said "Kick Me" located right in the balls because he had put his pants on backwards.
Jed tapped him on the shoulder, "Excuse me, sir," he gulped.
The man turned around, and Jed, as hard as he could gave the man a double- whammy in the Meat and Two Veg! The man doubled over on the floor in pain, and he sat there for a day while Jed stood there, just laughing at him.
The next day, though, the man got up while Jed was sleeping. He reached for his own jewels and started counting, "One, Two, Three... Alright, I'm fine".
Then the most horrible thing happened. The man with the mowhawk walked over to Jed, reached for his nuts, grabbed them, raised him into the air, but Jed fell down while the man still had his balls!!!
"Wait!!!" the man with the mowhawk screamed. "These are fake ones that he glued on!!!" Jed started running as fast as he could to escape the horror. He must have run around the world 50 times before he slowed down and burst into Ned's house saying, .....................
Thu Apr 03, 2003 1:59 pm
"How's it going neighbor? That rash you caught from bob's daughter clear up yet?"
"Yeah everything fell off about a week ago. I'm a lot happier though. No female has power over me anymore! Course I can't pee so well now..." said Ned looking up from his knitting.
"Did you ever see what happened to that big guy with the gold chains?" Asked Jed.
"I saw some MP cars drive up, some guys in uniform came out and dragged him off... one of those guys had white hair and was chomping a cigar though, so I don't know what happened after that..." said Ned. "Did you come over here for something?"
"Just wanted to tell you I finally got Bob back for the 'Chigger Incident'"
"That bastard deserves it! I tried to get him back for dumping llama shit in my yard -which poisoned my poppy crop- by sleeping with his daughter, but that didn't turn out like I'd hoped," Ned said as he sighed.
"How is the poppy trade?"
"OK, the columbians are planting in a month again, so I have a little time to recover some money," mused Ned.
"I should go down the street and visit those columbians, they have a really wacky sense of humor! Always flaunting their neckties..." laughed Jed.
"Well see ya later Jed! Good luck getting your balls to redrop!" called Ned.
So Jed went home and changed for his trip to the columbians' house. He then went outside dressed in his best plaid checkered suit to visit his friends. On his way there....
"Yeah everything fell off about a week ago. I'm a lot happier though. No female has power over me anymore! Course I can't pee so well now..." said Ned looking up from his knitting.
"Did you ever see what happened to that big guy with the gold chains?" Asked Jed.
"I saw some MP cars drive up, some guys in uniform came out and dragged him off... one of those guys had white hair and was chomping a cigar though, so I don't know what happened after that..." said Ned. "Did you come over here for something?"
"Just wanted to tell you I finally got Bob back for the 'Chigger Incident'"
"That bastard deserves it! I tried to get him back for dumping llama shit in my yard -which poisoned my poppy crop- by sleeping with his daughter, but that didn't turn out like I'd hoped," Ned said as he sighed.
"How is the poppy trade?"
"OK, the columbians are planting in a month again, so I have a little time to recover some money," mused Ned.
"I should go down the street and visit those columbians, they have a really wacky sense of humor! Always flaunting their neckties..." laughed Jed.
"Well see ya later Jed! Good luck getting your balls to redrop!" called Ned.
So Jed went home and changed for his trip to the columbians' house. He then went outside dressed in his best plaid checkered suit to visit his friends. On his way there....
Thu Apr 03, 2003 2:19 pm
................ he realized that he needed a new car. His other one had been torn to shreds, and needed a replacement. His little bycicle wouldn't do.
So, he stopped again at his neighborhood Ford Dealer to replace his shiny F-150.
When he got there, the man behind the desk had his back facing him.
"Excuse me, sire," Jed said "I would like a new F-150 with these specifications." He put the piece of paper on the desk.
Just then the man started talking. "Hold on, there. Some faggot yesterday kicked me in the balls as hard as he could at Home Depot. I'm still recovering." When the man turned around, Jed was gone.
Then he made his way to the Chevy dealership and got a stupid little mangled Corvette and jetted to the Columbian's house.
He rang the doorbell. "Hi, neighbor Fatass!" Jed said "How's it going."
"Yo soy contento, mi pelotas y dicko soy gordo."
Jed put out his hand. "Hold on. Let me get out my translator" He started fishing through his pockets. "There we go. Please say that again.
It eventually translated into, "I am happy, my balls and dick are large."
"Well that's very disturbing," Jed said "Just make sure you don't open the door to guys with mowhawks; they hate gay dogs and adulterers. I heard your married, right?"
"Si, senior" ("Yes, sir") "Mi eiha y eya soy hugando con el correro senior y soy en Michigan" ("My daughter and her ((my wife)) are playing with the mailman and are in Michigan")
"Can I come in, sir? It looks like your wife and your daughter have deserted you for some lousy mailman. It happened to my wife, too."
"Si, senor. Bengase" ("Yes, sir. Come in.") He opened the door to him.
When Jed walked in, a dog that looked strikingly familiar to the gay dog that he had found warmly greeted him in the dick. "So this dog's gay, too?"
"Si" ("Yes") "El perro's nombre soy 'doggay'" ("The dog's name is 'doggay'")
"Then you seriously better whatch out for the guy with the mowhawk; never open the door to him!!!!!"
There was then a knock on the door
"Oh oh," Jed said.
"Oh oh," ("Oh oh") Fatass said.
So, he stopped again at his neighborhood Ford Dealer to replace his shiny F-150.
When he got there, the man behind the desk had his back facing him.
"Excuse me, sire," Jed said "I would like a new F-150 with these specifications." He put the piece of paper on the desk.
Just then the man started talking. "Hold on, there. Some faggot yesterday kicked me in the balls as hard as he could at Home Depot. I'm still recovering." When the man turned around, Jed was gone.
Then he made his way to the Chevy dealership and got a stupid little mangled Corvette and jetted to the Columbian's house.
He rang the doorbell. "Hi, neighbor Fatass!" Jed said "How's it going."
"Yo soy contento, mi pelotas y dicko soy gordo."
Jed put out his hand. "Hold on. Let me get out my translator" He started fishing through his pockets. "There we go. Please say that again.
It eventually translated into, "I am happy, my balls and dick are large."
"Well that's very disturbing," Jed said "Just make sure you don't open the door to guys with mowhawks; they hate gay dogs and adulterers. I heard your married, right?"
"Si, senior" ("Yes, sir") "Mi eiha y eya soy hugando con el correro senior y soy en Michigan" ("My daughter and her ((my wife)) are playing with the mailman and are in Michigan")
"Can I come in, sir? It looks like your wife and your daughter have deserted you for some lousy mailman. It happened to my wife, too."
"Si, senor. Bengase" ("Yes, sir. Come in.") He opened the door to him.
When Jed walked in, a dog that looked strikingly familiar to the gay dog that he had found warmly greeted him in the dick. "So this dog's gay, too?"
"Si" ("Yes") "El perro's nombre soy 'doggay'" ("The dog's name is 'doggay'")
"Then you seriously better whatch out for the guy with the mowhawk; never open the door to him!!!!!"
There was then a knock on the door
"Oh oh," Jed said.
"Oh oh," ("Oh oh") Fatass said.