Liberal vs. Conservative vs. Southerner

by **hightimber** » Thu Jan 08, 2004 1:23 pm

Most of you I you, I hope, will find this amusing. For the others, no offense intended. It's a joke.

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Subject: Gun Control vs Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click...(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"

Son: "Mama's right, Daddy, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

by **SGT DEVILDOG** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 4:24 am

TRUE That

by **Kristov** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 6:46 am

Yall making fun of us Southerners?

As a wise man once said...American by birth, Southern by the grace of God!

by **Sewer-Urchin** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 9:03 am

Originally posted by Kristov
Yall making fun of us Southerners?

As a wise man once said...American by birth, Southern by the grace of God!

Amen to that! :beer:

by **hightimber** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 2:37 pm

Originally posted by Kristov
Yall making fun of us Southerners?

As a wise man once said...American by birth, Southern by the grace of God!

No. I think it's just saying they're not indecisive. :beer:

by **CapriccioSCOURG** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 6:22 pm

I'm pretty much a liberal (alhtough I don't enjoy labels), and I live in the South. So it's not as funny to me, since I deal with this everyday. Hear something all the time and it ceases to amuse (if it ever did).

by **Colonel Ingus** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 6:38 pm

If thats your picture there you even look like a ultra liberal wimp out to save the world from all of us who "just don't understand".

Dude it was a joke. Get over it.

by **igloo17** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 8:41 pm

by **smithpa68** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 9:21 pm

I love my Glock .40.

by **-HaVoC-** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 9:59 pm

I'll stick with my model94 30/30.

by **CapriccioSCOURG** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 11:02 pm

Thanks for making fun of my face, smacktard.

That wasn't called for at all.

by **JimmyTango** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 11:12 pm

Originally posted by Colonel Ingus
If thats your picture there you even look like a ultra liberal wimp out to save the world from all of us who "just don't understand".

Dude it was a joke. Get over it.

Seriously man, take whatever is jammed in your ass out. He didn't say anything mean, insulting, or degrading to anyone.

Ease up, no need to start a flame war over him saying he understands it is a joke, but it gets old after awhile because of where he lives. :roll:

by **JimmyTango** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 11:13 pm

Originally posted by CapriccioSCOURG

I know not to not share anything with anyone here anymore, because no one really cares. And if anyone is different they get slammed. Or so it seems.

Why the hell am I explaining myself to you?

I have been there numerous times. You did nothign wrong, he just has a stick up his ass.

by **CapriccioSCOURG** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 11:16 pm

Thank you Jimmy. I really do appreciate it.

I edited my post, because I didn't want to start a controversy. I'll say no more here.

by **JimmyTango** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 11:20 pm

And stay out of my way when i am making sharp left turns in the jeep! I was the one that ran you over for a TK to start El Al. You were in my blind spot and the next thing I saw was your head a foot in front of my window and by that time it was too late to hit the breaks!

Liberal vs. Conservative vs. Southerner

Liberal vs. Conservative vs. Southerner

LOL

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