Uk heightened security alert
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- SavageParrot
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Uk heightened security alert
by SavageParrot » Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:50 am
FURTHER INFO ON SECURITY THREAT
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the security level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to 'irritated' or even 'a bit cross' Londoners have not been 'a bit cross' since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance" the last time a "a bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'RUN' to 'HIDE'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability. It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels "invade a neighbour" and "lose". Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help". Finally in GB they've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".
Especially the Ashes! (the cricket which we just won
)
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the security level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to 'irritated' or even 'a bit cross' Londoners have not been 'a bit cross' since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance" the last time a "a bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'RUN' to 'HIDE'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability. It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels "invade a neighbour" and "lose". Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help". Finally in GB they've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".
Especially the Ashes! (the cricket which we just won
)
- cavalierlwt
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- Posts: 2840
- Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 12:54 pm
by cavalierlwt » Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:11 am
LOL.
BTW, are they ever going to change our retarded color threat alert system?
WTF am I supposed to do when it's 'Orange'? Walk around with knees slightly bent, weight distributed evenly, fists up near shoulder height???
BTW, are they ever going to change our retarded color threat alert system?
WTF am I supposed to do when it's 'Orange'? Walk around with knees slightly bent, weight distributed evenly, fists up near shoulder height???
Failing to plead
with a throat full of dust
Life falls asleep
in a fetal position.
with a throat full of dust
Life falls asleep
in a fetal position.
- SavageParrot
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- Posts: 10599
- Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 5:42 pm
- Location: Cheltenham, England
by deathBOB » Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:55 am
"In todays news, the terror alert level has been raised to "Salmon". Some are speculating that it may reach "Candy Apple Red" by the end of the week."
^ A creation of Spirit of Me
- cavalierlwt
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- Posts: 2840
- Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 12:54 pm
by cavalierlwt » Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:05 am
Originally posted by SavageParrot
Rofl
What if it's pink?
If it's pink, we walk around really effeminately and if we see a suspected terrorist, we slap him, pull his hair, and scratch his eyes out.
- Ldsmith104
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by Ldsmith104 » Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:57 pm
good stuff parrot
Larry
Damn it Jim!!! I'm a paramedic not a doctor!!!
Drive carefully or I'll see you naked
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Damn it Jim!!! I'm a paramedic not a doctor!!!
Drive carefully or I'll see you naked
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Originally posted by Chacal
There's no forum setting for allowing only mature posters.
Sad.
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