French Bashing jokes

by **Hat Rack** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:43 pm

Originally posted by Alofwar
y is that?

He is French. And a Senior admin. Have fun!

by **Alofwar** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:48 pm

oops, hopefully he will be a good sport, maybe i should expand the thread to contain jokes about all nations?

by **cavalierlwt** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:09 pm

Originally posted by Alofwar
oops, hopefully he will be a good sport, maybe i should expand the thread to contain jokes about all nations?

Chacal is Canadian I believe. Huge difference between reputation of Canada and France. I don't think we have any actual French (as in 'France') members on this board. Let the jokes fly!

by **||ASS||Mortimer** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:53 pm

Carry on!

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating
table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered,"
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything
inside them is color-coded,"
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers.
They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end
and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon, Dr. Morris Fishbein, shuts them all up when he
observes: "The French are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no
heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and *** are interchangeable.

by **SavageParrot** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:03 am

An englishman and Irishman and a Frenchman are strolling down the beach when they come across and old lamp. Laughing with each other they start rubbing the lamp joking about geniis. To their surprise a Genii pops out of thin air in front of them, The genii looks a little pissed off and tells them that as they are 3 he can only offer them 1 wish each and they must make it quickely.

Quick on his feet the irishman answers first.

"I wish that all of Ireland be happy, prosperous and rich"

"I will make it so" Replies the Genii and clicks his fingers. The irish economy booms and Guiness is positively flowing.

The Frenchman is next to make his wish.

"I am tired of these foreigners who always come over to stare at our precious treasures or choose to invade us. I would like France to be isolated and secure so I wish for a wall 500 metres tall and 50 metres wide which no man can enter or leave."

"your wish is my command." Replies the genii again clicking his fingers. The is a great rumbling and a gigantic wall rises around france separating it from the outside world. The frenchman looks pleased.

The English man come last. He looks lost for what to do and spends a few minutes thinking. After a while he says.

"tell me more about this wall"

"well", says the genii. "It's 500 metres tall and 50 metres wide and bars both entry and exit."

"oh in that case...", replies the Englishman grinning insanely...

"Fill it with water"

by **Alofwar** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:56 am

Theres 2 American generals in Afghanistan and a French general comes along and say
"The French have come to join the war, we bring 100 stealth bombers"
(u cant see anything in the sky"
American general: "Where are they"
French general: "They are very very stealthy" "And we bring you 1000 tanks, camoflaged. (u cant see anything)
"And 10,000 troops, undercover" (again u cant see anything)
"Have a good war"
French general walks off.

by **Padre** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:48 am

Originally posted by SavageParrot
An englishman and Irishman and a Frenchman are strolling down the beach when they come across and old lamp. Laughing with each other they start rubbing the lamp joking about geniis. To their surprise a Genii pops out of thin air in front of them, The genii looks a little pissed off and tells them that as they are 3 he can only offer them 1 wish each and they must make it quickely.

Quick on his feet the irishman answers first.

"I wish that all of Ireland be happy, prosperous and rich"

"I will make it so" Replies the Genii and clicks his fingers. The irish economy booms and Guiness is positively flowing.

The Frenchman is next to make his wish.

"I am tired of these foreigners who always come over to stare at our precious treasures or choose to invade us. I would like France to be isolated and secure so I wish for a wall 500 metres tall and 50 metres wide which no man can enter or leave."

"your wish is my command." Replies the genii again clicking his fingers. The is a great rumbling and a gigantic wall rises around france separating it from the outside world. The frenchman looks pleased.

The English man come last. He looks lost for what to do and spends a few minutes thinking. After a while he says.

"tell me more about this wall"

"well", says the genii. "It's 500 metres tall and 50 metres wide and bars both entry and exit."

"oh in that case...", replies the Englishman grinning insanely...

"Fill it with water"

This joke was heavily circulated around here about 4 years ago - but replace "Englishman" with "American", "Frenchman/France" with "Afghani/Afghanistan", and "water" with "lava".

Still funny though.

by **SavageParrot** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:07 am

LoL yeah it's an old joke

by **Alofwar** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:05 pm

French general walks up to an American generals in Afghanistan.
French general: Bonjour, the French have come to join the war.

American general: O look here come the Germans too.

French general: we surrender.

by **Alofwar** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 5:35 pm

In New Zeland they retire at 64.

In Germany they retire at 62.

In France they retire at 12 and come back at 5:30.

by **cavalierlwt** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:34 pm

The poor French, they got rolled by Germany (who wouldn't in that situation) and now they are the butt of cowardice jokes forever. Maybe if they weren't so snotty people wouldn't look at that this way. Plenty of other countries got taken by Germany, only France wound up with the stigma though.

by **goochillini** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:15 pm

Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert?

A: A Mirage

by **goochillini** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:19 pm

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead Frenchman In the middle of the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

by **goochillini** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:20 pm

Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?

A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better.

by **goochillini** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:21 pm

Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?

A: A bisexual.

French Bashing jokes

Who is online