Creative Nonsense Cramming....
25 posts
• Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
- #1HiTPoInT
by #1HiTPoInT » Thu Apr 03, 2003 2:27 pm
Here we have it so far!!!
Jed wakes up one morning and thinks to himself, "Well, now that I'm alone because my wife just eloped with the milkman, I can find some meaning and purpose to my humble sperm bank receptionist's life,"
"To hell with dealing with all of those unsatisfied customers! It's not my fault we're in Oklahoma!"
Jed gets out of bed and immediately trips over his pet armadillo, reggie. "Damn, his armor always KILLS my tootsies! If he wasn't so good at killing the neighbors' llamas, I'd get rid of him!"
All of a sudden, Jed heard a commotion at his front door. He walked to the door, opened it..... and couldn't believe his eyes..........
~Rule of Wrist
it was bob, jed's next door neighbor. "we've got a problem jed." said bob.
Jed asked with a smile on his face, "my armadillo didnt kill anohter one of your llamas again did he?"
"no, its worse than that. that damn armadillo is a queer. he keeps on porking all of my male llamas in the ass. now they are all walking bow legged. what are you going to do about it Jed?"
Jed says, "I gotta see this!" Jed went with bob to see his llamas...
~Edogg
Meanwhile, Jeds wife Nina and the milkman are driving towards Las Vegas at 85 mph. Jed's wife and the milkman met 3 weeks ago while Jed was out of town. The milkman came to the door of Jeds house, with the milk, and a note from his manger back at the milk center that Jed and his wife were 3 weeks over due on their milk account.
Knock, Knock, The milkman waits for a response at the door.
Inside the house Nina is just getting out of bed, and wearing her cotton nightie, and boxer underwear. Her breasts are huge, and they press against the outside of her shirt. Nina walks to the door, and opens it.
"arhgmmmm.. Um, excuse me Maam, ahh, I wanted to let you know that my boss erggghh, well, your account is overdue..."
Nina thinks: "Jed is so broke, I'm sick of him never makin enough money. I'm gonna leave him. But first let me have some fun."
"Oh really!" Nina replies in mock surprise. "Please come in and I'll settle the bill, my husband is at work all day long, but I think I can take care of this..."
"Please come into the kitchen Mr. Milkman." Cries out Nina, searching for her checkbook.
The milkman follows. Meanwhile by this time the Milkman has a hardon the size of Texas, and is lucky to even be walking. Walking to the kitchen, he see's Nina bent over her checkbook, looking down at Nina, the Milkman glances at her enormous cleevage, and her bra less nipples pressed against the outside of her thin white shirt.
Then just at that moment Nina remembers that there is nothing in her husbands checking account.......................
~El Cid
...............so she drops to her knees, sucks on his knob and he shoots a load in her mouth.
" My goodness, you swallow?" asks the Milkman.
" Sure do and might I add, you have the best damn cum I have ever tasted" slurps Nina
Meanwhile Jed and Bob set off to check on the bowlegged llamas.
"I'll be damned" says Jed " You werent kidding, these llamas are bowlegged"
"I told you Jed, now how are you going to repay me, these llamas are worthless now"...............
~COL.BUKKAKE
......... "I trained the little prick to kill them, you stupid bastard!"
"I just didn't think he was sick enough to kill them that way, too...."
As they stood in the field, the armadillo came running very fast at a llama, jumped, rolled itself into a ball in midair and struck the llama in the head, knocking it unconscious. He then went around to the back of the thing and starting raping it vigorously.
"Wow, he's a smart little guy, I just trained him for the bowling ball maneuver, he must have learned the prone assram technique from watching me and the wife, that conniving slut of a whore!" thought Jed.
"Now good luck selling the soiled llama hair on the open market you flea-ridden swine! This is to get you back for the chiggers you put in my shampoo last month!" yelled Jed.
Jed then kicked Bob in the cock, and walked back to his house and bolted the door, while Reggie the necrophiliac armadillo went about his work.
"Well at least that brightens my day somewhat," thought Jed.
Then something caught his eye out of the front window of his double-wide....
~Rule of Wrist
F-150 Red, Super- duty, V-8, awesome truck. As he was driving back, a poor little puppy was lying on the road on his back, looking like he had just gotten a blow- job. The farmer stopped and got out of his truck
Just then, the little puppy blew a shot at the farmer in the face.
"I'm not gay!" The farmer called to the dog
The dog whined. Apparently, he was gay.
The farmer was a kind hearted man who brought the dog into the back of his truck after he safely secured a "cum-free" mask he had boughten from a Sex Toy store.
When he got into the driveway, something familiar caught his eye; his wife's boobs.
"How did they get outa that steel trap she had them in?" He thought.
The dog, perverted thing he was, jumped out of the truck and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the sight of those whoppers.
The farmer, blinded for the moment of his wife's hooters, finally jumped out of the truck and slammed the door behind him. He opened the door just to see his wife and the milkman..................
~#1HiTPoInT
All of a sudden... JED, the Oklahoma sperm bank receptionist... hears a noise behind him, its a black van with a red stripe down the side driving slowly down the block... the sliding door opens a little... Jed realizes what's going on and dives on the ground...
Bullets fired from an automatic weapon within the van ripped the air, shredding his wife, the milkman, that stupid little fucking gay dog, the Ford F-150 and his favorite mailbox. As the van drove away, he could have sworn that he caught a glimpse of a mohawk and gold chains on the guy in the van.
"Dammit!" thought Jed. "I got so much good mail out of that box, victoria's secret, swedish penis enlargers, samples from work for bob's llamas... oh well"
"This has been an odd day, maybe I'll try looking for a different job today," thought Jed. But then he looked across the trailer park to see his neighor Ned's blinds opening very slowly. Jed could swear he could see a.........
~Rule of Wrist
......... dude with the same gold chains that had driven off before!
"It must have been the A-Team!" He excitedly thought. "I didn't know they went after adulterers and gay dogs!"
He didn't know, either, that Ned was an adulterer and that he had a gay dog. The A-Team had him, too!
Or maybe it was Carrot Top! The "Dial down the center for 1800-Call-ATT" guy. His red hair could confuse anyone.
Deppressed because his mailbox was gone, he started walking to Home Depot to quickly replace his lost one so he could immediately start recieving again the Playboy Magazines.
When he got there, he saw that the dude with the Mohawk had already gotten there, and he was looking for a power saw to probably cut Ned's head off! Lucky for him, the dude with the mowhawk had pants on that said "Kick Me" located right in the balls because he had put his pants on backwards.
Jed tapped him on the shoulder, "Excuse me, sir," he gulped.
The man turned around, and Jed, as hard as he could gave the man a double- whammy in the Meat and Two Veg! The man doubled over on the floor in pain, and he sat there for a day while Jed stood there, just laughing at him.
The next day, though, the man got up while Jed was sleeping. He reached for his own jewels and started counting, "One, Two, Three... Alright, I'm fine".
Then the most horrible thing happened. The man with the mowhawk walked over to Jed, reached for his nuts, grabbed them, raised him into the air, but Jed fell down while the man still had his balls!!!
"Wait!!!" the man with the mowhawk screamed. "These are fake ones that he glued on!!!" Jed started running as fast as he could to escape the horror. He must have run around the world 50 times before he slowed down and burst into Ned's house saying, .....................
~#1HiTPoInT
"How's it going neighbor? That rash you caught from bob's daughter clear up yet?"
"Yeah everything fell off about a week ago. I'm a lot happier though. No female has power over me anymore! Course I can't pee so well now..." said Ned looking up from his knitting.
"Did you ever see what happened to that big guy with the gold chains?" Asked Jed.
"I saw some MP cars drive up, some guys in uniform came out and dragged him off... one of those guys had white hair and was chomping a cigar though, so I don't know what happened after that..." said Ned. "Did you come over here for something?"
"Just wanted to tell you I finally got Bob back for the 'Chigger Incident'"
"That bastard deserves it! I tried to get him back for dumping llama shit in my yard -which poisoned my poppy crop- by sleeping with his daughter, but that didn't turn out like I'd hoped," Ned said as he sighed.
"How is the poppy trade?"
"OK, the columbians are planting in a month again, so I have a little time to recover some money," mused Ned.
"I should go down the street and visit those columbians, they have a really wacky sense of humor! Always flaunting their neckties..." laughed Jed.
"Well see ya later Jed! Good luck getting your balls to redrop!" called Ned.
So Jed went home and changed for his trip to the columbians' house. He then went outside dressed in his best plaid checkered suit to visit his friends. On his way there....
~Rule of Wrist
................ he realized that he needed a new car. His other one had been torn to shreds, and needed a replacement. His little bycicle wouldn't do.
So, he stopped again at his neighborhood Ford Dealer to replace his shiny F-150.
When he got there, the man behind the desk had his back facing him.
"Excuse me, sire," Jed said "I would like a new F-150 with these specifications." He put the piece of paper on the desk.
Just then the man started talking. "Hold on, there. Some faggot yesterday kicked me in the balls as hard as he could at Home Depot. I'm still recovering." When the man turned around, Jed was gone.
Then he made his way to the Chevy dealership and got a stupid little mangled Corvette and jetted to the Columbian's house.
He rang the doorbell. "Hi, neighbor Fatass!" Jed said "How's it going."
"Yo soy contento, mi pelotas y dicko soy gordo."
Jed put out his hand. "Hold on. Let me get out my translator" He started fishing through his pockets. "There we go. Please say that again.
It eventually translated into, "I am happy, my balls and dick are large."
"Well that's very disturbing," Jed said "Just make sure you don't open the door to guys with mowhawks; they hate gay dogs and adulterers. I heard your married, right?"
"Si, senior" ("Yes, sir") "Mi eiha y eya soy hugando con el correro senior y soy en Michigan" ("My daughter and her ((my wife)) are playing with the mailman and are in Michigan")
"Can I come in, sir? It looks like your wife and your daughter have deserted you for some lousy mailman. It happened to my wife, too."
"Si, senor. Bengase" ("Yes, sir. Come in.") He opened the door to him.
When Jed walked in, a dog that looked strikingly familiar to the gay dog that he had found warmly greeted him in the dick. "So this dog's gay, too?"
"Si" ("Yes") "El perro's nombre soy 'doggay'" ("The dog's name is 'doggay'")
"Then you seriously better whatch out for the guy with the mowhawk; never open the door to him!!!!!"
There was then a knock on the door
"Oh oh," Jed said.
"Oh oh," ("Oh oh") Fatass said.
~#1HiTPoInT
Jed wakes up one morning and thinks to himself, "Well, now that I'm alone because my wife just eloped with the milkman, I can find some meaning and purpose to my humble sperm bank receptionist's life,"
"To hell with dealing with all of those unsatisfied customers! It's not my fault we're in Oklahoma!"
Jed gets out of bed and immediately trips over his pet armadillo, reggie. "Damn, his armor always KILLS my tootsies! If he wasn't so good at killing the neighbors' llamas, I'd get rid of him!"
All of a sudden, Jed heard a commotion at his front door. He walked to the door, opened it..... and couldn't believe his eyes..........
~Rule of Wrist
it was bob, jed's next door neighbor. "we've got a problem jed." said bob.
Jed asked with a smile on his face, "my armadillo didnt kill anohter one of your llamas again did he?"
"no, its worse than that. that damn armadillo is a queer. he keeps on porking all of my male llamas in the ass. now they are all walking bow legged. what are you going to do about it Jed?"
Jed says, "I gotta see this!" Jed went with bob to see his llamas...
~Edogg
Meanwhile, Jeds wife Nina and the milkman are driving towards Las Vegas at 85 mph. Jed's wife and the milkman met 3 weeks ago while Jed was out of town. The milkman came to the door of Jeds house, with the milk, and a note from his manger back at the milk center that Jed and his wife were 3 weeks over due on their milk account.
Knock, Knock, The milkman waits for a response at the door.
Inside the house Nina is just getting out of bed, and wearing her cotton nightie, and boxer underwear. Her breasts are huge, and they press against the outside of her shirt. Nina walks to the door, and opens it.
"arhgmmmm.. Um, excuse me Maam, ahh, I wanted to let you know that my boss erggghh, well, your account is overdue..."
Nina thinks: "Jed is so broke, I'm sick of him never makin enough money. I'm gonna leave him. But first let me have some fun."
"Oh really!" Nina replies in mock surprise. "Please come in and I'll settle the bill, my husband is at work all day long, but I think I can take care of this..."
"Please come into the kitchen Mr. Milkman." Cries out Nina, searching for her checkbook.
The milkman follows. Meanwhile by this time the Milkman has a hardon the size of Texas, and is lucky to even be walking. Walking to the kitchen, he see's Nina bent over her checkbook, looking down at Nina, the Milkman glances at her enormous cleevage, and her bra less nipples pressed against the outside of her thin white shirt.
Then just at that moment Nina remembers that there is nothing in her husbands checking account.......................
~El Cid
...............so she drops to her knees, sucks on his knob and he shoots a load in her mouth.
" My goodness, you swallow?" asks the Milkman.
" Sure do and might I add, you have the best damn cum I have ever tasted" slurps Nina
Meanwhile Jed and Bob set off to check on the bowlegged llamas.
"I'll be damned" says Jed " You werent kidding, these llamas are bowlegged"
"I told you Jed, now how are you going to repay me, these llamas are worthless now"...............
~COL.BUKKAKE
......... "I trained the little prick to kill them, you stupid bastard!"
"I just didn't think he was sick enough to kill them that way, too...."
As they stood in the field, the armadillo came running very fast at a llama, jumped, rolled itself into a ball in midair and struck the llama in the head, knocking it unconscious. He then went around to the back of the thing and starting raping it vigorously.
"Wow, he's a smart little guy, I just trained him for the bowling ball maneuver, he must have learned the prone assram technique from watching me and the wife, that conniving slut of a whore!" thought Jed.
"Now good luck selling the soiled llama hair on the open market you flea-ridden swine! This is to get you back for the chiggers you put in my shampoo last month!" yelled Jed.
Jed then kicked Bob in the cock, and walked back to his house and bolted the door, while Reggie the necrophiliac armadillo went about his work.
"Well at least that brightens my day somewhat," thought Jed.
Then something caught his eye out of the front window of his double-wide....
~Rule of Wrist
F-150 Red, Super- duty, V-8, awesome truck. As he was driving back, a poor little puppy was lying on the road on his back, looking like he had just gotten a blow- job. The farmer stopped and got out of his truck
Just then, the little puppy blew a shot at the farmer in the face.
"I'm not gay!" The farmer called to the dog
The dog whined. Apparently, he was gay.
The farmer was a kind hearted man who brought the dog into the back of his truck after he safely secured a "cum-free" mask he had boughten from a Sex Toy store.
When he got into the driveway, something familiar caught his eye; his wife's boobs.
"How did they get outa that steel trap she had them in?" He thought.
The dog, perverted thing he was, jumped out of the truck and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the sight of those whoppers.
The farmer, blinded for the moment of his wife's hooters, finally jumped out of the truck and slammed the door behind him. He opened the door just to see his wife and the milkman..................
~#1HiTPoInT
All of a sudden... JED, the Oklahoma sperm bank receptionist... hears a noise behind him, its a black van with a red stripe down the side driving slowly down the block... the sliding door opens a little... Jed realizes what's going on and dives on the ground...
Bullets fired from an automatic weapon within the van ripped the air, shredding his wife, the milkman, that stupid little fucking gay dog, the Ford F-150 and his favorite mailbox. As the van drove away, he could have sworn that he caught a glimpse of a mohawk and gold chains on the guy in the van.
"Dammit!" thought Jed. "I got so much good mail out of that box, victoria's secret, swedish penis enlargers, samples from work for bob's llamas... oh well"
"This has been an odd day, maybe I'll try looking for a different job today," thought Jed. But then he looked across the trailer park to see his neighor Ned's blinds opening very slowly. Jed could swear he could see a.........
~Rule of Wrist
......... dude with the same gold chains that had driven off before!
"It must have been the A-Team!" He excitedly thought. "I didn't know they went after adulterers and gay dogs!"
He didn't know, either, that Ned was an adulterer and that he had a gay dog. The A-Team had him, too!
Or maybe it was Carrot Top! The "Dial down the center for 1800-Call-ATT" guy. His red hair could confuse anyone.
Deppressed because his mailbox was gone, he started walking to Home Depot to quickly replace his lost one so he could immediately start recieving again the Playboy Magazines.
When he got there, he saw that the dude with the Mohawk had already gotten there, and he was looking for a power saw to probably cut Ned's head off! Lucky for him, the dude with the mowhawk had pants on that said "Kick Me" located right in the balls because he had put his pants on backwards.
Jed tapped him on the shoulder, "Excuse me, sir," he gulped.
The man turned around, and Jed, as hard as he could gave the man a double- whammy in the Meat and Two Veg! The man doubled over on the floor in pain, and he sat there for a day while Jed stood there, just laughing at him.
The next day, though, the man got up while Jed was sleeping. He reached for his own jewels and started counting, "One, Two, Three... Alright, I'm fine".
Then the most horrible thing happened. The man with the mowhawk walked over to Jed, reached for his nuts, grabbed them, raised him into the air, but Jed fell down while the man still had his balls!!!
"Wait!!!" the man with the mowhawk screamed. "These are fake ones that he glued on!!!" Jed started running as fast as he could to escape the horror. He must have run around the world 50 times before he slowed down and burst into Ned's house saying, .....................
~#1HiTPoInT
"How's it going neighbor? That rash you caught from bob's daughter clear up yet?"
"Yeah everything fell off about a week ago. I'm a lot happier though. No female has power over me anymore! Course I can't pee so well now..." said Ned looking up from his knitting.
"Did you ever see what happened to that big guy with the gold chains?" Asked Jed.
"I saw some MP cars drive up, some guys in uniform came out and dragged him off... one of those guys had white hair and was chomping a cigar though, so I don't know what happened after that..." said Ned. "Did you come over here for something?"
"Just wanted to tell you I finally got Bob back for the 'Chigger Incident'"
"That bastard deserves it! I tried to get him back for dumping llama shit in my yard -which poisoned my poppy crop- by sleeping with his daughter, but that didn't turn out like I'd hoped," Ned said as he sighed.
"How is the poppy trade?"
"OK, the columbians are planting in a month again, so I have a little time to recover some money," mused Ned.
"I should go down the street and visit those columbians, they have a really wacky sense of humor! Always flaunting their neckties..." laughed Jed.
"Well see ya later Jed! Good luck getting your balls to redrop!" called Ned.
So Jed went home and changed for his trip to the columbians' house. He then went outside dressed in his best plaid checkered suit to visit his friends. On his way there....
~Rule of Wrist
................ he realized that he needed a new car. His other one had been torn to shreds, and needed a replacement. His little bycicle wouldn't do.
So, he stopped again at his neighborhood Ford Dealer to replace his shiny F-150.
When he got there, the man behind the desk had his back facing him.
"Excuse me, sire," Jed said "I would like a new F-150 with these specifications." He put the piece of paper on the desk.
Just then the man started talking. "Hold on, there. Some faggot yesterday kicked me in the balls as hard as he could at Home Depot. I'm still recovering." When the man turned around, Jed was gone.
Then he made his way to the Chevy dealership and got a stupid little mangled Corvette and jetted to the Columbian's house.
He rang the doorbell. "Hi, neighbor Fatass!" Jed said "How's it going."
"Yo soy contento, mi pelotas y dicko soy gordo."
Jed put out his hand. "Hold on. Let me get out my translator" He started fishing through his pockets. "There we go. Please say that again.
It eventually translated into, "I am happy, my balls and dick are large."
"Well that's very disturbing," Jed said "Just make sure you don't open the door to guys with mowhawks; they hate gay dogs and adulterers. I heard your married, right?"
"Si, senior" ("Yes, sir") "Mi eiha y eya soy hugando con el correro senior y soy en Michigan" ("My daughter and her ((my wife)) are playing with the mailman and are in Michigan")
"Can I come in, sir? It looks like your wife and your daughter have deserted you for some lousy mailman. It happened to my wife, too."
"Si, senor. Bengase" ("Yes, sir. Come in.") He opened the door to him.
When Jed walked in, a dog that looked strikingly familiar to the gay dog that he had found warmly greeted him in the dick. "So this dog's gay, too?"
"Si" ("Yes") "El perro's nombre soy 'doggay'" ("The dog's name is 'doggay'")
"Then you seriously better whatch out for the guy with the mowhawk; never open the door to him!!!!!"
There was then a knock on the door
"Oh oh," Jed said.
"Oh oh," ("Oh oh") Fatass said.
~#1HiTPoInT
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Thu Apr 03, 2003 2:33 pm
It was Carrot Top!
"HI! Just dial down the center! 1-800...."
"BOOM!"
Fatass shot him between the eyes with the .44 magnum he had stuffed in his waistband. Carrot Top's canoe-shaped cranium dropped to the ground, never to annoy again.
"It's about time somebody did that!" exclaimed Jed. "I'll have to buy you some of Ned's heroin for that one..."
"Yo quiero Taco smell!" said Fatass.
"Yeah, I miss having a female around sometimes too..." said Jed with a faraway look in his eyes...
"What's that you have on the table over there?" asked Jed.
"Los locos poppyplantos grandes!"
"Oh yeah, so it is... Hey what is that in the sky circling overhead?"..............
"HI! Just dial down the center! 1-800...."
"BOOM!"
Fatass shot him between the eyes with the .44 magnum he had stuffed in his waistband. Carrot Top's canoe-shaped cranium dropped to the ground, never to annoy again.
"It's about time somebody did that!" exclaimed Jed. "I'll have to buy you some of Ned's heroin for that one..."
"Yo quiero Taco smell!" said Fatass.
"Yeah, I miss having a female around sometimes too..." said Jed with a faraway look in his eyes...
"What's that you have on the table over there?" asked Jed.
"Los locos poppyplantos grandes!"
"Oh yeah, so it is... Hey what is that in the sky circling overhead?"..............
- #1HiTPoInT
by #1HiTPoInT » Thu Apr 03, 2003 3:05 pm
"Soy un paharo!!! Soy un bolar!!! No, soy senior con 'mowhawk'" ("It's a bird! It's a plane! No, its dude with 'mowhawk'")
"He apparently CAN fly, but how does he do it?"
"No se" ("I don't know")
Just then the man with the Mowhawk from the A-Team started decending upon Fatass. Fatass swiftly took out his gun, and shot a bullet right up his dick all the way to his head. The bullet kept on going, but the man with the mowhawk was finally dead!!!
The dick which had been bulleted off landed right into Jed's hands, and he threw it into the river.
"Si !!!" ("Yeah!!!") Fatass cried. "Yo soy contento, y senior con 'mowhawk' soy muerto" ("I'm happy, and the guy with the mowhawk is dead!")
"Well, I guess that's it for adulterer's and gay dog owner's problems!!!"
"Si, gracias por todos hablamos" ("Yes, thank you for our chat")
"My pleasure, Fatass."
Jed hopped into his junky Corvette and then started on his way towards.................
"He apparently CAN fly, but how does he do it?"
"No se" ("I don't know")
Just then the man with the Mowhawk from the A-Team started decending upon Fatass. Fatass swiftly took out his gun, and shot a bullet right up his dick all the way to his head. The bullet kept on going, but the man with the mowhawk was finally dead!!!
The dick which had been bulleted off landed right into Jed's hands, and he threw it into the river.
"Si !!!" ("Yeah!!!") Fatass cried. "Yo soy contento, y senior con 'mowhawk' soy muerto" ("I'm happy, and the guy with the mowhawk is dead!")
"Well, I guess that's it for adulterer's and gay dog owner's problems!!!"
"Si, gracias por todos hablamos" ("Yes, thank you for our chat")
"My pleasure, Fatass."
Jed hopped into his junky Corvette and then started on his way towards.................
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Fri Apr 04, 2003 1:03 pm
Texarkana. Hannibal Smith would show up soon and that would be one dead Fatass drug dealer. Jed didn't want to be around for that one.
"Maybe I should head west, I hear Hades is nice this time of year." thought Jed. "Although I came back from there last year."
While Jed was lost in thought, his POS corvette completely died. Looking around, Jed realized he was only a block from his house. "Oh, well. Let the other three come! They can even bring that pathetic latino guy from the last season with them! We'll see if they can constuct a necro-armadillo shield from old mobile home parts!"
But Jed decided to put the possibility of retribution out of his mind and went about his business.
While he was gone, his nemesis Bob had been busy. He had enlarged his llama fence, added armadillo sensing lasers and had now expanded into the alpaca market until his llamas recovered from their ordeal (some of them still twitch a little to this day).
"HHmm... interesting, how am I going to get at him now!" thought Jed, feeling his chigger scars.
..........................
"Maybe I should head west, I hear Hades is nice this time of year." thought Jed. "Although I came back from there last year."
While Jed was lost in thought, his POS corvette completely died. Looking around, Jed realized he was only a block from his house. "Oh, well. Let the other three come! They can even bring that pathetic latino guy from the last season with them! We'll see if they can constuct a necro-armadillo shield from old mobile home parts!"
But Jed decided to put the possibility of retribution out of his mind and went about his business.
While he was gone, his nemesis Bob had been busy. He had enlarged his llama fence, added armadillo sensing lasers and had now expanded into the alpaca market until his llamas recovered from their ordeal (some of them still twitch a little to this day).
"HHmm... interesting, how am I going to get at him now!" thought Jed, feeling his chigger scars.
..........................
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Mon Apr 07, 2003 12:29 pm
"I know! Tonight, it's time to put to use all of the skills I learned in Trailerpark Ninja University! Haven't had to use them since the streaking incident in '92," thought Jed.
So, that night Jed pulled out his dusty black sweatpants, black pro-wings, black camo shirt and black free-with-a-fillup netted ballcap (worn backwards).
Now garbed for action, Jed sought the ungaurded fence that didn't border his property. Bob hadn't considered attacks from places other than Jed's place and had neglected the advanced security measures on that side of his property.
Sneaking up to the laundry room door, Jed took his precious cargo out of his backpack, a container of laundry blueing enhanced shampoo, a can of spray glue enhanced deoderant, itching powder enhanced athlete's foot powder, eau de merde chien (dogshit) cologne, laundry detergent enhanced toothpaste and a can of whipped cream with a shaving cream label.
Finding the bathroom took just a minute, and Jed placed all of his goodies in the proper place. "I can't wait to see Bob in a day or two!"
Going to the kitchen, Jed found a small tupperware container and filled it with warm-to-the-touch water. He snuck up to Bob's bedroom and cracked the door open. Bob was snoring soundly, dead to the world. Putting his ninja skills into full effect, Jed silently creeped up to the sleeping form of Bob and gently put his hand into the warm water in the tupperware container.
His mission accomplished, Jed snuck out of the trailer again, stifling a laugh.
"Time for a shower," Jed said to himself. Getting in the shower, Jed turned on the water and began to soap himself when he thought he felt a burning sensation...........
So, that night Jed pulled out his dusty black sweatpants, black pro-wings, black camo shirt and black free-with-a-fillup netted ballcap (worn backwards).
Now garbed for action, Jed sought the ungaurded fence that didn't border his property. Bob hadn't considered attacks from places other than Jed's place and had neglected the advanced security measures on that side of his property.
Sneaking up to the laundry room door, Jed took his precious cargo out of his backpack, a container of laundry blueing enhanced shampoo, a can of spray glue enhanced deoderant, itching powder enhanced athlete's foot powder, eau de merde chien (dogshit) cologne, laundry detergent enhanced toothpaste and a can of whipped cream with a shaving cream label.
Finding the bathroom took just a minute, and Jed placed all of his goodies in the proper place. "I can't wait to see Bob in a day or two!"
Going to the kitchen, Jed found a small tupperware container and filled it with warm-to-the-touch water. He snuck up to Bob's bedroom and cracked the door open. Bob was snoring soundly, dead to the world. Putting his ninja skills into full effect, Jed silently creeped up to the sleeping form of Bob and gently put his hand into the warm water in the tupperware container.
His mission accomplished, Jed snuck out of the trailer again, stifling a laugh.
"Time for a shower," Jed said to himself. Getting in the shower, Jed turned on the water and began to soap himself when he thought he felt a burning sensation...........
- #1HiTPoInT
by #1HiTPoInT » Tue Apr 08, 2003 8:18 pm
"Crap, I didn't empty the itchy, athlete's foot powder."
Just then, he started feeling itchy all over. Head to his pride and joy, he felt a very itchy feeling that he had never felt before. That damn thing felt like that rough soap that no one ever dared to use.
Just then, he got out of the shower and there, God knows how, a beautiful woman in a bikini was standing there.
"*itch* Hi... *itch" erm... how did you *itch* get here? *itch*"
"Who cares how I got here. All I know is that I've been eying you for the last 3 months, and when your wife died, I knew I had the perfect opportunity."
She then came up to him really close, and started......................................
Just then, he started feeling itchy all over. Head to his pride and joy, he felt a very itchy feeling that he had never felt before. That damn thing felt like that rough soap that no one ever dared to use.
Just then, he got out of the shower and there, God knows how, a beautiful woman in a bikini was standing there.
"*itch* Hi... *itch" erm... how did you *itch* get here? *itch*"
"Who cares how I got here. All I know is that I've been eying you for the last 3 months, and when your wife died, I knew I had the perfect opportunity."
She then came up to him really close, and started......................................
- Rule of Wrist
by Rule of Wrist » Thu Apr 10, 2003 12:58 am
Laughing uncontrollably....
The itching was just too much for Jed and he had collapsed on the floor trying to itch everything at once. The woman, who was clinically insane and possibly psychotic, tried to help Jed itch things, but Jed wanted no part of this poison pill. "I've seen her before! Guys go to her place and then don't come back! On some of my night raids on Bob's place I saw freshly dug up earth in back of her trailer! FUCK THAT!!!" thought Jed.
"Um, please don't help... I'll manage....uhhh.." said Jed, trying to fend off the loonie hot bitch and itch his wang at the same time.
"What's the MATTER! I'm not GOOD ENOUGH TO HELP YOU!" she raged.
"NO! It's just that, well, I don't KNOW you and all.... yeah... and I (fuck that itches)... I'm just independent.... yeah..." stammered Jed.
"Fine! But when you see me again it's going to be warm... CAUSE I"M SENDING YOU TO HELL!" she screamed.
Suddenly, she brought out from behind her back a huge.............
(P.S. if you guys want porn go to Kazaa and download some... horny bastards....)
The itching was just too much for Jed and he had collapsed on the floor trying to itch everything at once. The woman, who was clinically insane and possibly psychotic, tried to help Jed itch things, but Jed wanted no part of this poison pill. "I've seen her before! Guys go to her place and then don't come back! On some of my night raids on Bob's place I saw freshly dug up earth in back of her trailer! FUCK THAT!!!" thought Jed.
"Um, please don't help... I'll manage....uhhh.." said Jed, trying to fend off the loonie hot bitch and itch his wang at the same time.
"What's the MATTER! I'm not GOOD ENOUGH TO HELP YOU!" she raged.
"NO! It's just that, well, I don't KNOW you and all.... yeah... and I (fuck that itches)... I'm just independent.... yeah..." stammered Jed.
"Fine! But when you see me again it's going to be warm... CAUSE I"M SENDING YOU TO HELL!" she screamed.
Suddenly, she brought out from behind her back a huge.............
(P.S. if you guys want porn go to Kazaa and download some... horny bastards....)
- #1HiTPoInT
by #1HiTPoInT » Thu Apr 10, 2003 9:18 pm
Mallet and crushed Jed to smitherines.
"Heh. That'll take care of that guy"
So, that was the end of Jed. He had done so much in his life, and been through so many awful experiences, but now his life was finally over.
But this isn't the end of the story! Jedette, as she was named, started her own life. She remodled the house and created a perfect lifestyle of her own to live in.
Now come the adventures of:
"Jedette and her life in Jed's House!"
(That was lame)
"Heh. That'll take care of that guy"
So, that was the end of Jed. He had done so much in his life, and been through so many awful experiences, but now his life was finally over.
But this isn't the end of the story! Jedette, as she was named, started her own life. She remodled the house and created a perfect lifestyle of her own to live in.
Now come the adventures of:
"Jedette and her life in Jed's House!"
(That was lame)
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