To beat the child or not?

by **CHICK** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:12 am

My 9 yr old son is academically smart he's not too bright when it comes to doing homework. I think it's because playing with friends, playing with the X-box, and watching TV are much more important to him.

I get a phone call from Mrs. Martin this morning (his 3rd grade teacher) and she tells me that after she sat with my son yesterday and wrote what math homework was to be completed he erased it off his planner so he didn't have to do it, so she's suspended his recess for the entire week whether that's just today or all of next week not sure.

This isn't the first time he's dodged his homework like this. We've taken his privileges away like TV, and Xbox. This time I think he needs a proper beatin'! Can anyone relate to these stupid kid lies?

by **Wesley** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 12:38 pm

Have you kept the TV and XBOX away as long as you said you were going to the previous times, or do you cave in like most parents?

by **CodeRed68** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 12:49 pm

not sure if the beating actually works but the threat of a beating sure might make him think twice.
and also what Wesley said... do not cave in. When i was young i was not allowed to watch tv or even downstairs (my bedroom was upstairs w/no computer, tv, etc) until all my homework was done, right after dinner.

by **willy lump lump** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 2:25 pm

when we were bad we would have to get on the kitchen floor on our knees and have our butts,shoulders and heads above our knees and feet flat out behind us and put our noses a half inch away from the wall and stay there till she let us go. if my nephews and nieces hear the words "font a lie" they will stop whatever they are doing instantly and listen. some may think it is extreme some may not but it works. i can only imagine if my mom had been from north vietnam instead of south. or you can get some frying chopsticks which are about 2 feet long. good luck chick child rearing is a tough business.

by **Spitfire** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 2:59 pm

Either take it away or if he doesnt again jyst mash it in the street like my dad,so he can see it when he comes home.

by **SavageParrot** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 4:34 pm

Lobotomisation ftw!

by **LONGTRANGBILL** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 4:40 pm

Hey Chick,
You need to figure out what his most valued 'Currency' is and work out a barter system.ie currency= games/barter game time for desired result= homework,chores,acceptable behavior.
As previously stated...DO NOT CAVE ONCE THE GUIDE LINES ARE SET!!!! Therefore try to be equally reasonable when determining what he needs to do to get his reward.
By the way didn't you get your manual when got the 'GIFT' ha... Parenting SUCKS!!! having kids in our lives is Great!

Good Luck

by **SPFR-Sgt.Willy** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 6:55 pm

Me being a 12 yr old child My advice is to take away the things he likes most x-box, tv, etc. And dont give them back until his behaver has changed at school.

Willy

by **gowhitesox99** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:18 pm

i occasionally lay down some justice every now and then on their heine... Now if you havent ever done it, i wouldnt start now.

Just like evryone says, talk harshly and FOLLOW THROUGH!! DONT CAVE OR BEND!!!!! Set a limit/rule and stick to it and you should see instant results.

by **Stl Lunatic** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:06 pm

It wouldn't be a bad idea to reward him in a few months for being good or raising his grades. Give him something to achieve, set some goals. Short term goals should help him a lot; tell him if he does his homework you will let him play video games. Also take into regard the kids only 9 years old, don't come down on him like he just killed somebody. I'm 17 and when I was in grade school and middle school I struggled to devote my time to school work. My parents made my world hell and it did make me a better student, but unfortunately created a very anti social being.

I see my self as a very unique person since I devote nearly all of my time to school work and baseball. The free time I do have I spend on the computer or reading books. It makes you wonder how things could have been if I didn’t conform to making my grades as meticulously good. When you’re my age you hear over and over again how you should live your life. Most people my age ignore and rebel what society says. In my case I have conformed to what they want me to be. Society says you go to school, you strive for perfection, and you do whatever it takes to make a living. Its really sad that society has evolved a youth that doesn’t appreciate anything but money. If you think about it, you live your entire life just to make other people happy. To make money and make your life easier and less chaotic when in essence we make our life substantially harder by deeming anything less than perfection failure. I believe money has corrupted mankind.

Back to your kid
I would suggest if its starting to really become a problem take away his Xbox. Pull out the power cord and hide it in a discrete place. Tell him your doing this and he will only be allowed to play Xbox on weekends. Tell him if he doesn't comply to your rules you will also take away his friends and TV. I remember when I was in grade school my grades declined, my parents took away my Nintendo 64 and TV but to a certain extent still let friends come over. When things got bad I was completely grounded to my room. No TV, no videogames, no friends. You really shouldn't yell at him or have to take everything from him, just flat out tell him this is what your consequences will be if you don't do what is asked of you. You don’t want to take away everything at once since he will probably rebel, but if you tell him what will happen he will have no excuse for his actions. Everyone reacts to power and influence differently, he may comply, he may not.

by **CHICK** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:12 pm

So this is what I did, he came home and said that he erased the homework from his planner because he lost the math paper and didn't want to tell me/his teacher. He obviously thought we wouldn't notice the work not completed??? So I thanked him for telling the truth and instead of his consequences being a week of no TV/X-box he got 2 days.

I don't think I cave. He's done this in the past and his valued things have gone away for a few days to a few months. I have let him off early for good behavior.

He's a bright child at school (3rd grade mind you) but this whole thing with lies and not doing homework because of all the other bright and shiny chickens make me want to pop!

by **Namloot** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:05 pm

In most states, if your child tells thier teacher that they were hit, in any way by thier parents, you will be getting a very unpleasent visit from Child Protection Services.

Most states put the percieved safety of the child above all else, including any constitutional rights you thought you had.

Big Brother lives!

by **cavalierlwt** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:07 pm

Don't be too discouraged, how your kid behaves now isn't an indicator of his future (adult) behavior. Kids have a very flexible sense of morality, no right or wrong, just 'what can I get away with, what's worth the risk'

by **gowhitesox99** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:22 am

stay strong chick, sounds like you have a good plan. Stick to it, firm but fair. GOOD LUCK!

Nam, Child Protection isnt visiting you if you give the kid a smack on the ass. If you punch him in the face and beat the snot out of him THEN maybe, but a good spankin isnt gonna get you in any hot water.

by **Stl Lunatic** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:54 am

You never know the school nurse might be running heinny inspections tommorow...

I agree with Weasel...just as long as there is no bruising or severe beating...although I personally would rather people don't spank their kids even though most of the time the kids deserve it for being self centered brats...(then again its usually the parents faults for leting kids be idiots)

To beat the child or not?

To beat the child or not?

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