Mort's joke of the week
- Ldsmith104
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- Posts: 2445
- Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2003 2:49 am
- Location: Fayetteville NC
The day Microsoft builds something that doesn't suck is they day they start building vacuum cleaners
Recently the British government brought in laws preventing the smacking of children. Many of the people against the bill were argueing that its the only language they understand.
But isnt that foreigners?
But isnt that foreigners?
"Don't mention the war"
German Tourist: Will you stop mentioning the war
Basil: Well you started it
German tourist: No we didn't
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland

German Tourist: Will you stop mentioning the war
Basil: Well you started it
German tourist: No we didn't
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland

- Stl Lunatic
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- Posts: 3024
- Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2004 11:49 pm
- Location: St.Louis, MO
What the hell is Bangkok anyways? I think it's a country?
Wow...Where do you find random pictures like that B...lol...
Wow...Where do you find random pictures like that B...lol...
- cavalierlwt
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- Posts: 2840
- Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 12:54 pm
Originally posted by Alofwar
Recently the British government brought in laws preventing the smacking of children. Many of the people against the bill were argueing that its the only language they understand.
But isnt that foreigners?
Hmmm, the counter to that, a law that allows you to smack children AND foreigners.......
Could be nirvana!
Failing to plead
with a throat full of dust
Life falls asleep
in a fetal position.
with a throat full of dust
Life falls asleep
in a fetal position.
Edge Designs is an all-women run company that designs interior office
space. They had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC.
The client allowed the women of this company a free hand in all
design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all
women execs.............The result.........well.....We all know that men
never talk .never look at each other....and never laugh much in the
restroom.... The men's room is a serious and quiet place......
.....But now...with the addition of one mural on the wall......lets
just say the men's restroom is a place of laughter and smiles...
space. They had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC.
The client allowed the women of this company a free hand in all
design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all
women execs.............The result.........well.....We all know that men
never talk .never look at each other....and never laugh much in the
restroom.... The men's room is a serious and quiet place......
.....But now...with the addition of one mural on the wall......lets
just say the men's restroom is a place of laughter and smiles...
- Ldsmith104
-
- Posts: 2445
- Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2003 2:49 am
- Location: Fayetteville NC
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
(and a warning that if you see me doing any one of these things, just laugh with me - or join in!)
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
(and a warning that if you see me doing any one of these things, just laugh with me - or join in!)
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
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